A Touch of Soul

Copenhagen (again)

2011-12-06T22:33:00.003+08:00

So here I am in Copenhagen, Denmark again. I am expecting snow but unfortunately its not going to happen yet.....but weather is cold. At the moment, its an average of between 2-5 degrees and I am wrapped up from head to toe. The Danish (my classmates) laughed at how snowball I look but well, coming from a all-year round hot country, I think its only normal that I am fully wrapped!

I love Copenhagen......everything is so calm and peaceful and most of the Danish are very friendly. The place is beautiful especially now that its Christmas season. Decorations are up, people are busy buying presents and you can hear christmas carolling and a lot of singing everywhere you go especially in the shopping street. Everyone's in the Christmas spirit. Its definately different than in Malaysia. The school had a Danish christmas meal for us yesterday evening and its unique although the food served are mostly desserts and its too sweet for me. But I am really enjoying this. Something different than in Malaysia. The only thing I could hope is SNOW before I leave Copenhagen on Monday.

Next stop London..........

This is a picture of Nyhavn, a little touristy spot in Copenhagen. You can tale the boat ride around the whole of Copenhagen or you can chill and relax at the cafes along the whole stretch of the street.

A proposal (NOT MINE!)

2011-11-15T13:11:00.002+08:00

A couple of days ago, my bf was organising a suprise proposal for his best girlfriend, together with her bf (now fiancee). So the deal, was that her bf would proposed to her in a restaurant (namely, one of the most romantic restaurant in KL, called Cafe-Cafe) in front of all her really good friends. Being super excited about this, my bf wanted me to go with him and I turned him down flat! He wasnt very happy about it because he wanted me to share this happiness with him and cos his very best friend was about to get hitch! I made out some sort of a lousy excuse but in actual fact I didnt want to go for 2 valid reasons

The first reason is actually the main reason to it. I think for the longest time of all getting married and starting a family was a life long ambition. Someone once asked me when I was 17, what I wanna be when I grow up and my answer was to become a housewife. I yearned for a wholesome family which I never had, family dinners and family holidays which was rather rare in my situations. Not having one, I always wanted to start my own family, a loving husband, 5 kids (if possible) and me taking care of the whole family, giving them all that I can. I dream of the beautiful proposal and wedding that I would have and how I would spend the rest of my life with someone that I dearly love. My dreams to have my own family was crushed when the love of my life walked out of my life to the arms of another woman. Everything came crushing down and it took 2 years for me to stand on my feet again. However, after a few failed relationships and having seen marriages broken down one after another, the fairytale of a happy ending seems to fade off me. That romantic proposal, with one knees down and a beautiful ring, that beach wedding and the whole till death do us part seems so cynical because who knows, one year later there comes the divorce paper. Kim Kadarshian did it within 72 days!
So I didnt want to go thru that whole romantic proposal because I didnt want to see people getting proposed and me sitting at the side thinking of how my dreams of this day was dashed away like a flash of lightning.

The second reason for not wanting to go was more of me being a dickhead. Cafe-cafe is deemed to be the most romantic restaurant in Malaysia (not to mention expensive too) and usually couples go there for romantic dinners. I didnt want to go to such a place with a whole bunch of people, spoiling the whole notion of romance in my dictionary.

I dont think I am being a party pooper for not going although I am happy that these 2 are getting hitch. Congrats to Pat and Bruce for their engagement once again and I sincerely wished them all the best.

United States of America

2011-01-20T15:46:00.004+08:00

Year 2011: I kicked off the New Year with a business trip to USA, notably Los Angeles and Vegas. It had been 11 years since I last step into US and boy was I excited. I was still in my teens the last time I was in US and being the naive person that I always have been, the trip was an eye opener to me. However, this time around, I had several missions that I need to complete before I come back to sunny Malaysia again.

Mission 1:
- I have heard so many stories about the factory outlets in US that sells tons of branded goods at
a very cheap and reasonable price
My verdict: I have been to a few factory outlets and I have to say this, the rumours are true.
There are so many factory outlets here and there and they sell branded goods like Coach, Ralph Lauren, Kate Spade, Aldo, Banana Republic, Nike and many others at a discounted of up to 70%. Alot of their products are one or two seasons old but heck, if I can get a polo t-shirt from Ralph Lauren at USD15-20, I'll get them!

Mission 2: To visit Universal Studio
- Universal Studio is like a top 5 places that you have to go when you visit LA.
My verdict: Universal Studio has lived up to my expectations. The rides was mediocre, nothing
to scary or biggie, but I get to understand better how a movie was made. Besides
that I also get to visit some of those famous locations that we watch on TV like the
Wisteria lane on Desperate Housewife, the ruins in War of the World and even
Jaws. How cool was that? You even get to meet some of those famous cartoon
characters like Shrek and the Simpsons family. I came out of Universal Studio with
a huge tick on my checklist and a broad grin on my face.

Mission 3: To pay a visit to my hometown
- Ever since a kid, no one has failed to remind me that my name derives from the famous place
in LA called Beverly Hills. I did not have a chance to go to the hills the last trip and I vowed
that I have to make a point to go this trip to see what all the hoo-haa is about.
My verdict: I love it. I had a chance to go around Beverly Hills, Rodeo Drive and Santa Monica and boy was I amazed with what I saw. I have seen a lot of movies showing these places and its never the same when you see it real life. I was hoping to see at least a celebrity but unfortunately, luck was not at my side.

Mission 4: To get my neccessities
- Not only is US a cheap place to get those branded clothing items, but it is also a place to get
cheap and famous cosmetic brands like Clinique, Bobbi Brown, Mac and my ever favourite
Origins.
My verdict: These cosmetic items are about Rm25-35 cheaper than Malaysia and boy did I buy
a whole load of supply to last me a year till (hopefully) my next trip to the States again. Not only are their items cheap, but there are also a big variety of choices that I may not be able to find in Malaysia. 2 thumbs up!!!

Mission 5: Baby products for my up and coming god child
- My best friend, Mel, is expecting a child and of cos I nominated myself to be the child's godma.
I told her that I'll get something for the baby that we cannot find in Malaysia.
My verdict: Alas, not being a mother myself, I really do not know what neccessity baby needs. The only think I could buy was clothing but the problem was, I dont know the gender of the baby. There's a huge selection of baby clothes but they are seperated into pink and red for a girl and blue and yellow for a boy! *tsk* *tsk*.....

Mission 6: List of things to buy........for friends
- Naturally when friends heard that I was going to US, I was overloaded with "lists of things to buy" that ranges from bags to clothes to belts.......
My verdict: Boy was it difficult searching for things for friends, especially those with list that says, "Clothes!" Such a broad range and I don't even know the styles that they like. I managed to buy some stuff for some friends only to realise that I dont have enough luggage space and had to end up buying another luggage.

All in all, US was a good trip and my missions were mostly completed. If I had a chance I would go back again for more missions (actually I do have to go back again sometime later, for another biz trip)

Till then, hope the new year is treating you all well.......if not, stay positive....it will be better ;)

Next Chapter

2010-12-12T20:30:00.005+08:00

During the weekend, a bunch of us friends had gone out for dinner to celebrate a friend's 31st. I was the last to arrive the restaurant as I had spent 40 minutes looking for a parking in the mall. Walking towards the table, the birthday boy took a look at the box of birthday cake that I had brought and groan,
"Man....I thought I said no cake!"
Staring at him, clueless, I shrugged and said, "No one mentioned this to me and besides what is a birthday without a cake?"
"I dont need the whole restaurant to know how old I am." He then looked down, shook his head and sigh, "Let's not bring up these sad moments of being older and not wiser."

I laughed of cos at what he said but it did dawned to me that as most of us has celebrated our 30th birthday, we have now come to another stage of life. Most of us has a stable career with almost stable finances, some has gotten married or is preparing to get married, a handful has become parents or is in the midst of starting their own family, I began to wonder, what about me. What's my next chapter now that I am in my 30s.

Being in the 20s had been fun but challenging. I had to go thru test after test and roadblocks one after another to find out more about myself and to be where I am now. Now that I have discovered more about myself, my capabilities and my flaws, going into my 30s is about achieving things that I have plan and fulfilling life long dreams.

For one, I have always wanted to start my own family and would have done so a few years back if its not for some unfortunate incident. However I have come to my realisation that there are certain things in life that is beyond our control and relationship is one of them. My love life is currently at a standstill and has been for the past 2 years. Friends has been nagging and telling me not to be choosy but after a painful experience, I think I have the right to be choosy. I don't know what's going to happen in the next few years, but I do know that one of my priorities in life is to have my own kids, and I am planning to have one in the next 2-3 years, with or without a man in my life.

As most of you have known by now, I am someone who loves to dream and have big dreams in life. However, having big dreams and fulfilling it is two different things which requires loads of courage and energy, not to mention $$$. A few years ago, I did fulfill one of my dreams which is to open my own kindergarten. I did that in a very small scale but had to sell off my part of shares a few years later due to family commitment. I haven't gave up that dream altogether and I am planning to start a kindy or a day care center again, this time in a much bigger scale but thats going to take a lot of planning and effort and of cos more $$$. Fingers cross that will happen before I enter my 40s.

Other than these two plans, I haven't gone too far as to plan my next chapter of my life. I still have a list of things that I wanna do before I turn 35 years.

So, to the birthday boy, Toukin, do not fret about turning 31 because there's still so much more to look forward to and there will be 31 or more birthday cakes to come........Happi, happi birthday, bro!!!

Not forgotten

2010-11-12T18:42:00.002+08:00

It's been so long..........I was so afraid to open this page again for fear that my blog may get deleted for negligence or that readers may start giving nasty comments for not writing. I have not forgotten to write. I have too many things at hand...work, travelling (mostly for work) teaching, doing stewpid stuff, that whenever I have the time, I rather spend it sleeping or watching tv.

I have a project at hand though, which has taken up most of my time and it involves writing too. I can't reveal at the moment, but the project should be launching some time soon, and it will be revealed soon.

Till then.......2 more months (less than that) till 2011....but definately not 2 more months till my next post.

Have a great weekend!

Life's so vulnerable

2010-08-08T21:19:00.003+08:00

A few weeks ago, I received a mind-blowing news that threw me off guard. One of my best friend, H, has been diagnosed with colon cancer and it does look pretty serious. She's has had an op to take out the cancerous intestines and the good news is that the cancer cells has not spread yet. However, she still has to go thru a series of chemo fo the next 6 months.

When I first heard the news, I was devastated and shocked beyond words. I know we hear about people going through all sort of sickness, but it has never occured to me that someone so closed to me is suffering the same. I would never know how to react but tears stung my eyes when I first heard the news and my immediate reaction was to fly over to see her (she's staying in Bangkok). However, H protested and didnt want me to leave everything behind just to see her. At that point of time, I felt helpless. I want to be beside her, to help her fight this battle but I'm here and she's there and there's only so much I can do. So, I did what I am best at doing. I mopped around the house feeling sorry, frustrated, upset and whatever emotions that went around my head at that point till it dawn to me that H doesnt want me to behave that way. It won't help her if I start feeling sorry for her. So, I snapped out of my bluey mood, and gave her my strongest and most optimistic support I can.

A few days ago she wrote to me telling me about all her hospital visits. My heart broke when she told me how much she winced at the injections that the doc puts her through. And again I was speechless, didnt know what else I can say but to tell her to say strong. So I decided to blog this and to urge everyone that is reading this to say a few prayers for her whenever you all can. Help me spread the word around that my best friend, H is in need your blessings and the support that she can get.

H, if you are reading this, you have been such a friend to me, helping me go thru all my ups and downs without once complaining how much of a nuisance I can be. Now, its my time to be there for you. Stay strong and be happy always. Together, we hold hand in hand and fight this battle. We can win and we will emerge as winners.

I am a Gleek

2010-07-12T12:55:00.004+08:00

I am a huge Gleek. Are you?

A Gleek is a fan of Glee, only the most successful and exciting musical, comedy-drama television series that has just finished airing its first season, second part on Astro Star World Channel. Glee is about a group of high school kids that forms Glee Club, a show choir group, called "New Directions". These are your average, some not-so-popular and some popular high school kids that gathers together to do something that they all love - singing and performing. The series talks about the struggle that each and every member of the club, including their choir teacher, has to go through to be accepted by people in their school and how they solve every issues that has bestowed upon them. They sing and perform about their struggles, expressing themselves in perfect pitch that brings goosebumps all over my body most of the time.

This series has won so many awards including the Best Television series - Musical or Comedy at the 2010 Golden Globe awards, being nominated for Best Actress, Best Actor and Best Supporting Actress for the same award show, as well as being nominated for Outstanding Actor, Actress, Suporting Actor and Actresss and Outstanding Comedy in the coming 2010 Emmy Awards in August.

For those who still haven't any clue the series that I am talking about, then I shall ask you the next question. Have you heard of "Don't Stop Believing" that has been playing almost all day long in most of the English radio station in Malaysia? If you have, then that's them singing the remake of the 1981 song by an American rock band called Journey. Sounded pretty good huh? Thats the thing about this series that I absolutely love. They sing all kinds of songs that we have all heard before from Broadway to Pop to Classis Oldies and they remake these songs in their own style and attitudes. You can hear songs like MC Hammer's "You Can't Touch this", "I dream a Dream" from Les Miserables, Christina's Aguilera's "Beautiful", Beyonce's "Single Ladies" and many others. The series also pay tribute to some icons like Madonna, Olivia-Newton John and Lady Gaga and you can hear them singing these songs throughout the whole episode.

Each single episode of Glee is inspiring. The songs that they sing expresses their feelings and emotions, what they want to tell us. I wrote in my blog sometime ago about how music allows me to express my true self and what I am going through. Glee is all about that and I can almost always feel for them when they sing and perform their songs.

So for those who have not watched a single episode of Glee, pls do go to the nearest DVD store and get yourself a copy of the whole series and spend the whole nite laughing, crying and get inspired by the whole series. For me, I have to wait for second season to come out, which won't be till a couple of months more. Till then, Happy watching peeps!

Being socially impaired

2010-06-28T16:36:00.002+08:00

Over the weekend, I realised I have become socially impaired. While hanging out with some friends over the weekend (at a few different gatherings), I was only listening and smilling but remained very silent throughout the entire time. During some of the conversations, I found myself trying very hard to understand what my friends were saying and I got lost in their conversations very now and then. I racked my brains to come up with some things to say and to keep up with their conversations, but my attempts failed miserably. I decided to give up after several failed attempts. I become very dreamy and was lost in my own thoughts thinking "What the hell is wrong with me!"

I never had problems with carrying a conversation before as I am one of those person who would rather die than not being able to talk. It's true though that I can be rather quiet some times, especially when I am lost in my own thoughts or when I am tired, but to not be able to carry a decent conversation at all, is definately something to worry about.

I spoke about this to a close friend and she was telling me that I have been like this for a while and have not realised about this till now. And so I wonder......is there something wrong with me? The past months, I have been indulging myself in nothing but work. Work takes up three quarter of my energy and whatever thats left is reserved for special occasions whereby I have no choice but to drain up all of those energy. And so when I am out with friends, I like to stay in the back to just listen to whatever that my friends are talking about and only contribute my 2 cents worth when necessary. Is that weird of me?

After years of experience, I learnt to only speak when necessary and speak with the right choice of words. During my younger days, my motor mouth would not stop and I speak out whatever shit that comes out of my brain, without filtering. Of cos there was the ultimate shock and humiliation by my friends and I, my friends being shock for what I have just said to them and me being totally embarassed with what I should not have said. So now, I speak only when necessary.

Hmm maybe time to shake myself out of work mode especially during weekends to allow myself a fresh mind to carry a decent conversation with some good 'ole friends. Wish me luck, people.

Its a cruel cruel world out there

2010-06-14T11:36:00.005+08:00

A few weeks ago, I had some friends coming over to KL for holidays. These are friends that I had befriended during my university days in New Zealand and had also become rather close with ever since then. I have not seen some of them for a good few years and although we kept in touch via msn or Facebook, it was a different feeling seeing them and talking to them face-to-face. We took this opportunity to talk as much as we can from work to relationship to family stuff and of cos we chatted till dawn came and till nite ends. As we were talking, I realised how much we all have changed, from our carefree, laidback attitude during uni days to our rather tired, worried and stressed-out look now. It was like we all had a 100 tonnes of burden laid on our shoulders.

"My long-time gf, whom we were together for 8 years, dumped me for my best friend," one said. "That was a real shocker for me especially when I thought we were both very much in love with each other." Hmm......I wonder if thats the main reason he been changing gfs as often as I changed my undies.
"To survive in my office, I always have to watch out my back and to have contigency plans if I want to climb the corperate ladder," another said.
"When I started out my biz, I had to go thru so much hassle. I was spat on, insulted, looked down upon.....I almost gave up," another guy said.
"I'll never thought I'll say this, but after all the things that I have to go thru in life and in work, I realised I have became very cunning and sometimes wicked too!" another friend said.

All I could do was to nod my head in agreement as each of us poured out our heart and souls together. I totally understood all the troubles and issues that each of my friend had to go thru and how much these experiences had change us.

Its a dog eat dog world. Each and every one of us are striving on our own to succeed or to survive more like it, in this cruel, cruel world. Many times, we see people climbing the corperate ladder so much faster than we can say 'again' but at what expense? Thats for that person to know and for us to find out. We hear so many stories of betrayal, lies, corruptions, insults and whats more that you can't help but asked, "If you can't beat them join them?" Its a tough one, I know. No matter how much you tell yourself to be true to your own principles, you do tend to slip into one of those defence mode and start plotting against the other party, just to protect oneself. Inevitably you become 'one of them'. It's sad but its the reality of life.

To adapt ourself to the changing world, we change. We amend and shift our dreams, aspirations, and principles around whats going on in the world. When that happens, our personality changes as well. We change because we need to be strong and brave to brace whatever obstacles that are coming towards us. It's not a difficult task, that I know and many times we wanna call out "QUITS" but if we persevere on things will automatically become better. The question is how can we stay true to ourself and yet continue to fight for what we want.

Personally, I have changed so much the past 3-4 years. Dreams and aspirations have been changed and amended over and over again and I am not as naive as I should to be before. The past few years have been an eye-opener for me and although I should say "better late than never", I sometimes wonder if I rather not know than know. Having experienced all these betrayals and lies and becoming who I am right now, I do wish I can go back to being the innocent, naive girl that I was and never have to go thru so much pain and hurt in life.

To you people out there, if you have become someone that you never used to be, be it for the better or worst, I can say I truly understand and hopefully someday you will be able to find that correct pathway in life again.

Things we can do to spice our boring life

2010-04-18T19:59:00.002+08:00

Its now almost end of April and 4 months have past before us like a flash. For some of us, these 4 months have been full of excitements with non-stop parties and so many social acitivities that you wonder where you find the time to do all these. However, for most of us, these 4 months have been filled with work, work and more work. Our daily routine consists of waking up, going to the office, meeting with clients, meetings in the office and then back home to care for our family. When these routines have been going on for the past 4 months (some has for years) we wonder when excitement will come to our life or what we can do to bring excitements to our life. I began searching in the net for things we can do to spice up our life and here are some of it.

1) Do something adventurous like water rafting, extreme sports
2) Check yourself in to a retreat and treat yourself to a whole day of spa and massages
3) Take up a hobby like ballroom dancing or art class
4) Do something that you have not done for ages
5) Roadtrip - and it has to be spur of the moment. I guarentee you that its worth it.
6) Pick up another language
7) Take a whole day off work and go shopping!
8) Do something that you never in your entire life thought of doing
9) When driving to work, turn up the radio and sing till your hearts content and dance to the song.
10) Organise a small gathering in your house with some close friends
11) Rearrange your wardrobe and donate old clothes to any charitable organisations
12) Rearrange your house furniture
13) Paint the house
14) Do something meaningful like voluntering for a charitable organisation
15) Join a social club and meet new friends
16) Organise a costume party
17) Do a harmless but hilarious pranks
18) Try new food or something that you haven't tried before
19) Take up a new sport
20) Wear a piece of interesting headgear or accessories to work one day
21) Make a compulsive purchase
22) Talk to a stranger
23) Start your own club and encourage your friends to join
24) Visit the museum, zoo or any of these places that you have not done in years
25) Have a movie marathon with a few friends and with heaps of food.

Try some of these and do let me know if your life has become somewhat interesting. If you have better exciting things to do then the list above, do share and I will add it in this post.

Have fun people!

Battle of the sexes

2010-04-01T16:50:00.004+08:00

For the past months, I have been hearing groans and moans from my girl friends and guy friends about the opposite sex.

"Guys are so shallow," one girl says
"Women are so materialistic," claims a guy
"My bf only cares about playing games," groans another girl.
"All women do is provide headaches," another guy exclaims
"Guys only have one thing in their mind.....that is to sleep with you and then the next morning they will completely forget who you are," a girl friend experated.
"All woman cares is what car you drive and the kind of job you work for," another guy said.

And so the list goes on and on. This will forever be a never-ending battle between the opposite sex.

The main topic or complaint as you can clearly see is that guys want trophy girlfriends and women want men that are filthy rich. Humans are complicated creatures and all I can say is that there's just not enough understanding amongst us human beings. The one main problem I have to pinpoint is that we ourselves don't really know the kind of person that we want to spend the rest of our life with. How many of you are truly satisfied with your other half? Is there such thing as the perfect someone out there for us??

It is a fact that guys do want their other half to be beautiful if they can help it or at least decent-looking. When guys look at girls, they scrutinised every single part of the body, from head-to-toe. If the girl aint beautiful, at least their body has to be HOT or have that X-Factor. Whatever happen to the girl being really nice, very sweet or down-to-earth. These qualities just doesn't exist in the guys dictionary. Its usually the looks that will win hands down, personality is secondary. I can only sum it to say that its all about the ego.

As for the women, we don't really care if our other half has a hot bod or if he is dashing looking. Yes, we all drool at the occasional Calvin Klein models that we see walking in the street but we don't scrutinised every single part of their body. This I have to admit though, that there are women out there that deems financial security as a primary factor in choosing their other halves. This actually boils down to the fact that we women needs the finances to upkeep ourselves or else our other halves will run to the next sweet young thing that walks past them.

Women are emotional creatures and men are just simple. Is men says A is one, then they mean what they say. Women likes to think out of the box. If men say A is one, we women will try to find ways to intricate the meaning of that one sentence. Don't blame us for doing it. Its just how we are functioned to be.

Like I have said earlier....there's just no way to argue over this matter. It's how we are created by the one main Creator, who just wants us to learn to tolerate each other's presence as well as to understand each other as much as we can. I came across a phrase sometime ago, which I have always keep it in my heart.

"Inside the heart of each and everyone of us, there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world."

If you have truly put your heart and soul into understanding your other half or even the opposite party, you will discover more about that person. When that has happened, you will realised that whatever negative thoughts you had about that person has vanished.

Try it and let me know if this phrase works magically.

A sudden burst of idea

2010-03-14T20:22:00.002+08:00

I was checking my emails when I received a mail from my sister's bf M (they are both living in London right now), telling me to give my sis a call as she has been feeling homesick the past few days. So, being the ever so nice 'che-che', I immediately picked up the phone and spoke to her for like a good 10 mins. After hanging up on the phone, a wave of urgency rushed up to me and I suddenly realised that I miss my sister. I turned and looked at my mum and announced to her,
"I should go to London and visit Claud, and then go backpacking in Europe."
To my utter suprise, my mum agreed and said, "Why not. Since the Pounds and the Euro dollars have dropped tremendously, it would be a good idea to go now."

Instantly, my head began to swirl with places that I like to go, Prague, Budapest, Barcelona, Madrid, Athens, Vienna, Frankfurt......So many places, so little time and so little money!!!

A few months ago, a good friend R and I had planned of going to Europe to backpack in the summer this year, but the inclinations to go wasn't that strong. Right now, the urge is so great its as if, I can just booked my ticket online now and just leave the very next day. I have done spur of the moment trips before but not something this big. This requires a bit more planning but knowing me, I'm afraid that urge will die down once work gets over me. Oh well, I need to carefully think of this and not blow away thousands of dollars on unplan trips, which is rather costly. Pray that my backpacking trip will go on this year and if any of you lucky dudes have been to Europe before, do share some ideas, on where to go, stay, how to get cheap air ticks, where to shop and of cos where to party!!!

A sudden wave of sadness

2010-03-12T00:02:00.002+08:00

Having being so busy for the past weeks, I sneaked some time off work yesterday and decided to catch up with some of the other bloggers that I frequently read. There is a particular one that I like, one that is written by a male friend, SW. I enjoy reading his blog because he doesnt just write about what he does daily or bitch about anyone. He writes using his emotions, his views and thoughts and he writes really well. So well that I can feel how he feels and sometimes, his writing touches me. However, his last blog states that he has stopped writing due to some personal issues. I was utterly shocked and of cos devastastated. A sudden wave of sadness washed over me and my whole world just stopped for a split second. How can anyone who loves to write and does it so well, has decided not to write anymore??? I don't get it. His blog has inspires me tremendously and his words has inspires me to be a better writer.

I thought about it through the whole nite thinking if he has made the rite decision or if it was just a moment of frustration that he has been having. Iunderstand that he has been going thru some rough patches like what I had went thru some few months ago and things like this can really throw us of course. I only do pray and hope that he will get thru this with his inner strength and willpower and in time to come, he will start to write again and continues to inspire people with his words.

With that, I wanna wish him the best of luck. If anyone of you would like to read his blog, go to http://www.soonwei.com/

Travelling made easier

2010-02-28T19:56:00.005+08:00

I love travelling, love going to different places in the world to experience different cultures, food, traditions, history as well as meeting different people of different nations. As a kid, I didn't had much opportunity to travel, although the most ironic part is that my mum used to work for MAS as purchaser of engineering parts for the aeroplane. Part of the benefits working for the airlines was that she has 4 free tickets every year which she can transfer it to my dad or to her children. On top of that, if we have to pay for the tickets, we actually have a 90% discount of the full fare which is a real bargain. Imagine travelling to US for only RM200!!!

Alas, there wasn't much opportunity for me to travel as mum hates travelling and she gets airsick everytime she travels in a plane. As a kid, my travelling experience revolves around going to Singapore (I had an uncle living there) and to Penang with my beloved Grandma (whom like me has a travelling bone in her body). My first big trip came when I was 17 years old, straight after my SPM. Mum bought me an airplane ticket to Istanbul, Turkey and Rome, Italy with her best friend and her family. Not having much knowledge of Istanbul, I didnt give it much of a thought and assumed that it was just another city with nothing much to see. Boy was I wrong. It turned out that I had enjoyed every single moment inn Istanbul - the food, the culture, the history - it was an eye opener for me. The best part of all was that I was lucky enough to have experience my first real snow! I woke up at 6 in the morning and saw that everywhere around me was covered with snow. It was definately the one of the most beautiful sights I had ever since. Rome, was equally interesting as well, what with its historical and legendary places and figures. Oh and on top of that Italian guys are really hot and cute!

The Blue Mosque in Istanbul

As I grew older, I had much more opportunity to travel - LA, Vegas, Chicago, New Zealand, Melbourne, Sydney, Phuket, Bangkok, London, Paris, Taiwan, Hongkong, Macau, Medan and Bali. Each place that I have been brings different meanings and experience to me.

Out of these places, Bangkok is the place to go for shopping! I made it an attempt to go to Bangkok at least once a year and if I'm lucky enough, twice a year. Each time I go, I grabbed a whole load of clothes to last me a few months because shopping there is extremely cheap not to mention they have the most artistic and uniquely designed clothes. I have a thing for local designers and Bangkok just do the trick for me as these local designers are very artsy fatsy and since most of them are up and coming, the items they sell are affordable.

Foodwise, Asian countries definately has the most interesting and the yummiest food of all. You can find the most interesting and yummilicious food in the side walk of Bangkok, Hongkong and Taiwan - fried chicken, smelly toufu (not something that I like to indulge in), all kinds of fried balls (fishballs, squid balls, prawn balls, you name it), bubble tea drinks, delicacies like fried crickets, worms and all kinds of wiggly-woggily stuff (mine you, I am not brave enough to try these stuff).

The one country that holds dearly in my heart is New Zealand. I was studying in Auckland for 4 years and had the opportunity to travel around New Zealand. I love the whole country, the scenery, the people, the outdoor sports and of cos the culture. Being an adventure freak, I tried almost every outdoor adventure that I can get hold on - bungee, swimming with the dolphins in the ocean, skiing, white water rafting and god knows what other crazy things I have tried. The best thing about being in New Zealand, is the people. They are friendly, very nice and the most important part, they don't judge.

The beautiful New Zealand.

Flying used to be a luxury but nowadays, its so easy and cheap to fly around from one places to another. These days with all the budget airlines made available to us, airplane tickets has became cheaper and cheaper and there are many more options for us to choose from then those days where we only have MAS to choose from if we want to fly direct. Its allowing more and more people to travel to different places in the world to see things that once upon a time they could only see in Encyclopedia. There are more places that I want to go - South Africa, Egypt, Russia, Eastern Europe, NYC, Alaska and many many more.

Sigh! So many places, so little time and so limited resources.

If you do have tales of your travellings, do share it with me. I like to read an adventure or two. Till then, Happy Travelling!!!

Embracing Thirties

2010-02-18T19:35:00.002+08:00

About a few weeks ago, I was at the hair salon getting a hair cut with my best friend, Mel and her hubby, Mosquito Wen. While waiting for them to finish with their haircut, I was playing a game on Mel's Iphone when I heard Mosquito Wen calling,
"Oi Ms Thirty years old!"
At first I wasn't sure whom he was addressing it to as I was concentrating really hard on my game when he called out again, this time louder than before,
"Oi Ms Thirty years old!"
This time, I realised that he was addressing it to me. I paused my game, put down the Iphone and slammed on him all the vulgar words that existed in my dictionary.

Yes people. I am turning the big 3 0 this year and I am embracing it.

Being in the twenties has been rather experimenting and full of its ups and downs. The early part of my twenties had all been about having fun. I was partying till dusk turns dawn, I didn't had to worry about anything in my life and everything was just so carefree for me. I do what I wanna do and don't worry too much about consequences. Then, as I hit the second half of my twenties, I began to realise my responsibility and my pathway of my life. What I wanna do, where I see myself in the next 10, 20 years, and how I wanna carve my way towards achieving my dreams and goals. So that leads to experiments after experiments, a lot of banging walls, falling down and picking myself up and walking again. It has definately been a whirlwind journey for me. All the heartbreaks that I had to go thru and survived, of cos, all the disappointments that I get in life and of cos the good times that I had that gives me that motivations to continue on pursuing my dreams.

So, am I ready to walk that 30s road, the answer is one big, "HELL YEA!" I know that I have grown tremendously in the past few years and thats enough to bring me further in my life. The road is still rather long, but I know that I have that strength to face whatever obstacles that will be coming along my way. So "Bring it on!"

Sweet Revenge

2010-02-10T20:41:00.002+08:00

A few weeks ago, I was talking to a girlfriend about what she does to her husband when she is pissed with him. Apparently, her husband came home so drunk one day that he just plopped himself onto the sofa in the living room and she had to drag this 6ft 2inches man all the way up to their room. Pissed with him, she took out her liquid black eyeliner and drew all over both his eyelids. The next morning, as she was in the toilet washing up, she heard her husband screams,

"Bii........why my eyes cannot open one?"

He rushed into the toilet and she burst out laughing immediately. The liquid eyeliner had smeared all over both the eyes that made him look like one of those bad burglars from the comic book. He had one eye closed and the other eye half open and when he saw himself into the mirror, he started screaming,

"What happened to my eyes!!!!!"

My girl friend was laughing out so hard that she had one hand clutch on to her stomach and the other holding herself onto the basin and in between her laughters, stuttered to him,

"Who asked you to come home so drunk last nite that I had to drag you up to the room all by myself? You know you are not very light yah!"

Feel guilty, her husband begged her for forgiveness and after much persuasion, she helped him to clean off his 'makeup', but feeling totally satisfied that she had managed to release her anger.
She went on to say that this trick was actually taught to her by another of her girl friend whom had done even more ridiculous stuff to her other half when she is pissed with him. She had shaved one of her other half's leg, leaving the other half unshave, drew pictures all over his face, and even chop off one part of his hair. Poor guy. Imagine his reaction when he wakes up the next morning realising that he had one part of hair shorter than the rest.

When I hear about all this tricks that girls do to their other half for revenge I couldnt help but think, at least its not that bad. I have actually heard of worst stuff, like a girl that actually took the bf's car and purposely smashed in into a gate or another that swipe almost 10k of her other half's credit card when they were mad or pissed with them. Talk about revenge. Hence, goes the saying, "Never ever offend a girl....you will never know what they are capable of doing!"

So guys, the next time you decide to do something naughty or something that your other half won't approved, think again.....like seriously THINK HARD. You don't want to wake up one morning and find that you are missing a certain part of your organs........

A Brand New Year

2010-01-20T19:36:00.003+08:00

Happy 2010 everyone. It's been a long while....almost too long. I have friends that have been bugging me to write and my excuse has always been the same
"Very busy la. No time at all."

Its true though. Things have been very different for me the past few months. I have kept myself very busy with not 1 job but 2 jobs and sometimes some extra odd jobs here and there. It's not that I am in need of money but I needed to churn my energy onto something else so that I don't dwell myself in sorrow.

Before the new year, I kept telling my close friends that I cannot wait for 2010 to come for 2009 has been really, really bad for me. 2009 has been a year filled with disappointments, obstacles and difficulties for me and although still surviving, it has somehow changed me tremendously. I know I have become more matured, thats for sure, and that I see things in a very different manner now.

I am optimistic....I always have been. Everytime I fall, I tell myself to get up and continue to move along. Looking forward to 2010 is me telling myself that the coming new year will definately be better for me. So far, 2010 has been not too bad and I am certain that it will be much better as weeks and months come along.

My new years resolution this year is to be grounded. It's not that I don't know what I want in my life, I do know and I do have dreams that I want to pursue. Its just that I am easily influenced that I tend to sway away from achieving my dreams. So 2010 is a chance for me to prove that I can achieve my goals as long as I stand firm and am determined to do it.

How has 2009 been for you? If it has been a great year, then I shall wish that 2010 will be better than 2009. However, if you into the same category as me, and that 2009 has not been that good, I assure you that this year will be full of good suprises. Have faith in it.

What are your new years resolution? Do tell.

Have a great year everyone!!!

My daddy

2009-11-20T14:31:00.008+08:00

My dad and I have a very unique, Love-Hate relationship. I love him because he's my dad and I hate that I am born to be his daughter!!! Hate does sound extreme, but there have been moments of frustrations. My dad is not exactly the kind of doting father that you see in the movies - the ones that will teach you to play baseball or basketball, carries you around on his shoulders, change diapers for you when you get messy and sits and questions every single guys that comes to the house like a policeman questioning its' prisoners. My dad never did any of those mentioned. In fact, my dad is nothing like any of these doting fathers.

My dad is a typical chauvinistic man, with a temper of a monster and personality of an alien. Sadly to say, I have inherited half of these weirdo genes of his. When he is in one of his 'mood', I will try and stay far away from him, or else, I will never hear the end of it.......he wants things his own way and it must be done his way. No thunderstorm or lightning can change his mind. But when he is in his 'good mood' then things can get slightly better. All I need to do is whine and wimp a little, giving him my most sweetest and innocent smile and the longest "Daaaaadddddyyyyy" I can call, I usually do get what I want.

As a child, I was kind of afraid of my dad because of his temper. I wasn't sure when I was going to step on his tail for him to start his nonsense again. As I grew older, I learn to understand my dad. I learn what starts his eruption and whats not and I also learn when and how to sweet talk him to get what I want.

My dad says the darndest thing. Before I left to uni for my studies, he look at me very sternly and said,
"Come back with a degree and not a marriage certificate."
I stared at my dad strangely, as if I would do such nonsense. Then, with a wicked smile, I asked him,

"Is that what you did, hence you never even finished your studies."

My dad of cos, glared at me for a good 10 seconds, probably thinking what else to shoot me at but decided to walk off instead. I in turn, smiled victoriously, thinking "I got you dad".

Another time, we were having some arguments about work in his office and he called me "Stupid!" That got my anger boiling and I shot back at him,

"If I am stupid, then you are too, cos you gave birth to me!"

We glared at each other for a split second before he huffed at me sternly, "Ok you can go now." I, of cos stormed off angrily.

For those who don't really know me would think that I am some kind of brat for saying stuff like that to my dad after all the things that he has given me and all. To clarify, I dont ask for the most ridiculous thing from dad, only small things, like taking his car out or having a small party in his house. Even then, dad is not the kind that would spoil me and giving me whatever that I want. My dad always believe in hard work and he taught me that if I want something badly, I must work hard for it. Things just don't fall from the sky.

My dad is a shrewed businessman. As a child, dad never have much time for me and my sister as he is always either at work or socialising with his work friends. I used to get very upset whenever he missed any of my concerts or family dinners, but I have learnt to get over it because his excuse is always,

"I need to work hard to earn money for the family!"

I never did understand the nature of my dad's work. As a child I spent a lot of time in his office playing by myself while he attends to his work. From my play area, I would observed my dad looking intensely at his paperworks, typing in his typewritter and negotiating some deals on the phone with some customers. At times when he got frustrated, he would barked at his employee and then furiously trying to find solutions to whatever problems that he had faced. I would sometimes sudder in fear whenever he screams and shout and would try to find ways to soothe myself down. Now that I am working for him, I am beginning to understand the nature of his work and the problems that he had faced, I now have to solve it.

As much frustration I have with my dad sometimes, I do admire his capability and intelligence at work as well as the amount of time that he had placed his in career for it is his hard work that had brought us to where we are right now. With this, I would like to say thank you dad for all the things that you have given me.

If you have any stories about your dad, be it funny of sad, do share it with me, for I like to know what your dad is like.

A few dull moments and some food for thoughts

2009-10-27T17:37:00.005+08:00

I haven't stop writing.....it's just that I havent had the time to do anything besides work. Work has been taking up every ounce of my energy, strength and enthusiam. Each day I come back home more exhausted than the day before and wondering when will I ever have a break. I did in fact called it quits for 3 days, flew off to Redang island for some sun, sand and sea then its back again to warzone (yup thats what I refer work as).

The beautiful Redang Island - very dreamy isnt it???

Its actually the end of October now and in another 2 more months we will be going to a new year, year 2010. This year hasn't been exactly smooth for me and I am definately looking forward to a brand new year, a brand new resolution and a brand new me. After starting the year with a bang, it slowly went down the drain and I was met with obstacles after obstacles, so much so that I have in fact wanted to call it quits many times already. A voice inside me as well as some encouragement and support from very close friends have kept me going. Bit by bit I recover from my downfall and although not entirely strong, I am still optimist that things will be better.

Being particularly vulnerable this year, I realised that there are more people, friends that I know, that had gone through worst problems than I did. The fact that they are still hanging in there, shows how amazing they are and how much strength a human possessed to survive. A very close buddy had to go for a knee operation as he tore his ligament. After the surgery, he was in so much pain that his face had a frown in it (the first that I have seen a person capable of giving a full frown) and I couldnt help but felt very sorry for him. Another friend is going thru a divorce. Everytime I see him, he paints a permanent smile on his face and acts as if he doesn't care much about the divorce. In fact, it is his act of pretence that gives it away, that he is really hurting inside him and no matter what he does, this pain cannot go away. Another close friend tried to take his life and had left him amnesic instead. He had a certain type of amnesia which had left him no recollection of what had happened before his suicide and he cannot remember any current events. Basically, if you had a conversation with him a day ago, he wouldnt remember what the conversation is if you asked him the next day. He used to be a doctor and because of this amnesia he cannot practised medicine anymore.

We go thru barriers after barriers our whole life. With each barriers we learn something from it. We became stronger and wiser and when we do look at it again after sometime, we will learn to laugh at all that tears that we shed and the pain that we suffered before. I can only be positive and end this by saying that year 2010 will be better. Much much better.

Sincerity is the answer

2009-09-11T00:04:00.014+08:00

A few weeks ago, a mate texted me and asked me how to approach a girl in the gym without scaring her off. I texted him back and told him to be straightfoward,
"Just say hii and intro your name to her. Tell her that you have seen her a few times in the gym"
He was doubtful at first, thinking that it wouldn't work but I assured him that sincerity is most important if he wants to get to know a girl. Whatever pick up lines that he is thinking of will just throw a girl of their shoes and walk away without even a single blink. He said he'll try.

2 weeks later a girlfriend had an encounter with one of the lamest pick up lines she had heard of. She was away in Singapore for holiday and was in the yatch club having lunch with her family. As she came out of the ladies toilet, a guy had stopped her, gave her the sweetest smile and asked her,
"Hello, are you from NUS (National University of Singapore, I think)."
She shook her head and said no, but he continued,
"By the way, I just graduated from my Masters 2 weeks ago," he smiled truimphantly. My girlfriend raised her eyebrows, gave him the "WTH do I need to know that" look and walked off leaving his jaw hanging widely. When she told me the incident, I laughed it off so loudly that the whole restaurant was looking at me and thinking if I have gone nuts. Seriously, have guys ran out of pick up lines or do they feel the need to brag and show off to us girls?

Let's now return to my mate that wanted to talk to the girl in the gym. A few weeks after he had texted me, I asked him what the verdict was when I had lunch with him. He mustered up his courage and after a few more times in the gym, he finally had the guts to talk to her. He did what I said and introduce himself straightway to the girl whom in return introduced herself back to her and they ended up talking to each other for a good 10 minutes. Now, my mate looks forward to going to the gym, hoping that he will see her and have gather more courage to ask her out. When he told me his achievements, I smiled at him and gave him the "I told you so" look.

Its all about sincerity. Girls just want to know guys that are sincere and genuine. Don't need to act all bossy and high 'n' mighty because we girls don't fall for that and if we do, then its something that we want from the guys (you know what I mean!!!). So if the guy outside the toilet had been nice, humble and genuine at the same time, my girlfriend would have actually had a decent conversation with him and not leaving him looking like a long-lost puppy.

Personally, I had my fair share of experiences with guys and some are so down-to-earth and sincere that they put those snotty guys to shame. They don't brag, has no ulterior (and bad) motives (if you get what I mean), humble (a very important characteristic) and are very easy-going. They are so nice that it feels very comfortable and secure to be with them. Come to think of it, its been quite some time since I last met any sincere and down-to-earth guys. That is depressing :(

To sum it all, lame pick-up lines just doesn't work. So the next time you are thinking of going up to talk to a certain someone, just be nice and sincere......Good luck, people.

Inspirations

2009-08-25T16:58:00.004+08:00

Question: What inspires you or what makes you smile?

Lately, I have been so indulged in my own things that I forgot to look open my eyes and look around at the people and things surrounding me.

Wherever I go or wherever I am at, I like to look at people and things around me as I get inspired by the smallest things that I see. Simple things, like a poster in the mall or 2 little girls playing dolly with one another, just puts a smile on my face and I can immediately forget about whatever worries that I am going through at that point of time. Things like that helps and inspires me to put my worries or problems aside and also because pondering about my problems will not help solve my problems. Instead, I focus my energy on being happy and carefree.

I still remember an incident that happened almost 7 years ago and that never fails to put a smile into my face everytime I think of it. I was on my way home one night from my ex's house. It was about 11pm and I was at Damansara toll, going into the NKVE highway. As I approached the tol booth (I didn't have any Touch N Go or Smart Tag at that time, so I had to collect a ticket), I notice that a car had stopped right beside the tol booth and was waiting. I waited paitently for like 3 minutes and the car was still there. Suddenly, I panicked for a while thinking that maybe the car was going to rob the tol booth and my car was just right behind the car. I debated if I should reverse the car or call the cops, but momentarily, the window of the tol booth opened, and at the same time, the car had also wound down his window. The man in the car, took a container out of his car and passed it to the lady in the window, whom in return gave him the sweetest smile that I have ever seen. I was taken aback at this scene and as I drove up to the toll booth, the girl in the toll booth apologised to me for keeping me waiting. She said she had just got into work and her boyfriend had just delivered a container of food for her incase she got hungry while working throughout the whole night. I was speechless and very touched at the same time, and all I could do was to smile happily at her. This incident reminds me that no matter what shit we go through one time or other, there are always people around us that loves us and will be there for us through thick and thin.

No matter what happened to us or whatever shit that we faced, or when we think that we are doomed and there's no chance for recovery, look around us. There are many little things that will remind you never to give up hope, or things that will inspire you to do better.

I'll end this with a little something that my friend, CW said to me. I have known CW for many many years and he is a man of few words but we always understood each other without having to say much. One day, some 3-4 years ago, I had just broken up with J at that time and I was very heart broken. He called up and said this,
"If I ever see him, I will break his neck. How dare he hurts my little sis," and he hung up after that. I was really touched with his words, not because I really want him to break J's neck but because he cared and that he knew the heartache that I am facing. The last thing he wanted to say to me was another sorry words, so instead he cracked a joke, knowing that it will put a smile in my face but at the same time, he was trying to tell me that I still have him as a brother that cared for me.

So to say, little things like that do put a smile in my face. What about you? What inspires you? What makes you tickles?

When we take that one step

2009-08-13T18:06:00.003+08:00

Question: Are you a risk taker or are you just the follower?

I am a bit of a dare devil. If there is something that I really wanna do or something that I really wanna achieve, I will do it. No questions asked! Here's a list of some daring stuff that I have done and some I am pretty proud of:

1) Bungee jump in Queenstown
2) Swam with dolphins in Bay of Island
3) Had a 'flaming' and a 'graveyard' one after another (no I am not proud of that - I barely
knew the events that happened after the 2 shots)
4) Ran my own kindergarten for 3 years
5) Learn to ski and surf
6) Muster my courage and spoke to this really cute DJ - something that I would not have done
few years back.
7) Did a spontaneous road trip
8) Travelled alone in Sydney - was one of the best trip I had
9) Decided to baptist at the spur of moment

I don't like to live in regrets, therefore if there is something that I really wanna do, I will definately do it, without much thoughts given to it. Some people may think that I act impulsively but the fact is that I don't. I don't give it much thoughts because if I were to weight the consequences too much, I will end up not pursuing the things that I wanna do. I always believe that I have nothing to lose and everything to gain if I go after the things that I really wanna achieve or do. It's true that there are things that I did and failed but in each failure, I learn. It is also in each of these failures that I found out more about myself, what I can and can't do, what I like and don't like as well as my strengths and weaknesses. Each time I fall, I get up and told myself to try again.

However, not everything that I did was a failure. There are many things that I have done and am absolutely proud of myself. I bungeed jump off Kawarau Bridge in Queenstown, NZ many years back, while I was still in Uni. As I was standing at the edge of the platform before I jump off, I debated for a good 3 minutes. I then decided, it was do or die, and so I jumped without any hesitation. I screamed my lungs out during the jump and told myself that I would never jump off any buildings if I ever thought of committing suicide. After the jump, I was back on the ground and I felt so good.....in fact I was on top of the world. It was the jump that made me realise that I could achieved anything I want as long as I put my heart and soul into it.

Over the course of years, I realised that people likes to sit in their comfort zones and do not have the courage to take that extra one step to do the things that he/she wants to achieve. It is true that when we are comfortable with where we are, we try to maintain to it for as long as we can. It is till certain circumstances which were thrown towards us that forces us to adapt to the changes. However, there are times when we should take that extra one step to face the challenges as it is these challenges that will help us to grow. The end result is not important but it is the process that matters most. We may not achieve what we want to achieve, but at the end of the day, you may have discover more about yourself that you have never known before.

So I do urge you all, if there is something that you really want to do, or if there is someone that you really like but never have the courage to ask that person out, do it........You don't want to live till 60 and ask yourself "What if......". Take that one step out of your comfort zones and you will discover your capabilities or some hidden talents that you have never knew existed before.

When life gets blissful

2009-08-06T14:18:00.005+08:00

I recently just got back from Bangkok. A few of us from uni has decided to meet up in Bangkok just for the sole purpose of partying and to revive our partying days. So 1 flew in from NYC, 1 from London, 2 came from Singapore and I went with 2 other frens here in KL. In Bangkok, we reunited with some other uni mates as well.

For the whole 3 days, all we did was eat, party, drink, party, slept very little and thats about it. I think I am probably intoxicated by now, but the whole trip was really the best. we were all really easy going, no plans were made as in what we should do or should not do.....we just got along and did things very spontaneously. We met random strangers everywhere, party with them in the club, spoke to some cute Spanish guys in the train and one fren even had a 3 second challenge with this random girl that was holding a bottle of Red Lable. The best part of all is, I get to hang around with some of the best people around whom I could talk, joke, have fun and do crazy things without being judge or being criticised.

6 of us minus Ken in the train station

Jason trying to steal the bottle of Black Lable off Ploy

The 2 posers - Jason C and Ken

The 4 porn stars - Karipap, Gabs, Jason C and Ken

Jason C and Joyce

Gabs, Ken, and Jason C with a squashed up Ploy

All of us at RCA - in front of Slim

Thats the girls - Felicia, me and Joyce in the ladies toilet. There was a freaking 4 piece band playing in the toilet in Route 66 .....Imagine that!

Thats us at 3am in the morning looking absolutely wasted and Jason C had to pee!!!

I am back now in KL and reality hits!!! I missed my friends tremendously and is in the midst of planning for another trip again............

They call me a slacker

2009-07-24T15:34:00.002+08:00

Procastinating is in my blood. I am sure good at procastinating things, especially things that I don't like to do or is deemed uninteresting.

To be honest though, I was never like this before. As a kid or even during my teenage years, I am a rather rigid person. If I want something to be done, it must be done NOW and if I need something, it must be given to me NOW. Thats how bad I was.......Thanks to New Zealand, I am no longer like this. I become a slacker.......

Before you start getting the wrong thoughts about life and culture in New Zealand, let me explain further. The culture and lifestyle in New Zealand is very easy going and rather laidback. The people there are very friendly, easy to get along and very laidback. They move along in their daily lives according to their pace and everything is just slow and easy. You want something done, they will do it for you, but according to their own pace. You may not get it today, but you may get it in the next working day, but once the work is done, it is done perfectly and beautifully that you have nothing to complain about. So 4 years living in Auckland, one of the biggest city in New Zealand, had changed me to become very laidback and not as demanding as I used to be.

Now that I am back in KL, lifestyle here is definately different than that in New Zealand. Everything is so fast-paced and things must be done NOW. The fact that I am so used to being laidback and that I like being like that, people find me very inefficient. Not that I dont do things well, just that I take my own sweet time to do it. My boss will be screaming his arse off for a piece of information that he wants it NOW and I will take my own sweet time to look for it and retrieve it and then I will pass it to him like in 2-3 hours time (sometimes slower) and he will be fuming over in his office. All I say is, smile at him and told him, "CHILL la".

My gf asked me on Monday what we could do in the weekend and I said probably dinner with some uni friends from NZ (yes, another bunch of laidback people). Tomorrow is supposedly the dinner and she asked me today what's the plan for dinner and I sheepishly replied her,
"Havent done anything yet!"
"What? But its tomorrow. Why so slow one?"
"Heheee...ehhh....haven't got around to do it yet. Spontaneous mah. We decide tomorrow la"
She got ballistic and said, "No! I need to know now so that I can plan my stuff."
"Ok! Ok! I'll think of something"
Few hours later, I called her and told her dinner is on but will decide on the venue when I know what I feel like eating at that point of time. She shooked her head and replied,
"Gosh! Not again! You damm slack man."

Yes, I am a slacker..........

My Glass Slippers

2009-07-13T15:25:00.011+08:00

I am desperate for a pair of of black or white heels. Now before you roll your eyes and start thinking that I am just another girl whom indulges in pairs and pairs of heels to stack amongst the dozens pairs of heels that I already have in my shoe racks, think again. My only pair of heels gave way 6 months ago and ever since then, I have been looking high and low for that perfect pair of heels but to no avail. Right now, I am actually surviving on my mum's pair of black heels which I have to say is just perfect for my feet.

"But it's just a pair of heels. There are heaps of shoes for you to buy, you know. If I go out shopping for heels, I cannot imagine how big of a hole I am going to burn in my pocket," my best fren, Hansa exclaimed as I was complaining to her about not being able to find that 'perfect pair of heels'.

"Well, its not just a pair of heels. It has to be perfect. It has to be the right colour, black or white would be perfect as it can go with all colours of my clothing, has to fit all occasions, must have that right look and at the same time must be elegant and classy, long lasting and most importantly must be comfortable." I argued.

"Wow! You are like looking for a husband, so many requirements just for a pair of heels" she retorted back.

That sentence struck me and I paused for a moment to think. She's quite rite. Choosing the perfect pair of heels is like choosing the perfect man that I am going to spend the rest of my life with. What's a perfect man to me? Well, he has to be laidback and easy going, but adventurous and spontaneous at the same time, is career-minded and has ambitions, basically, a guy that is serious when he needs to and can also let his hair loose and have fun when its time to party. Seems like a lot to ask for? Maybe yes, maybe not. Then again, I am someone that depends a lot on my instinct. If sparks fly and I have 'feelings' for the opposite gender, then I'll just go for it. On the other hand, if I dont have the 'feel' for that particular guy, and he can be really good looking or super nice, I still wouldnt give a thought for him. I have to have that "Wow! It's him" factor for me to consider going out with a particular guy.

And thats the same when it comes to buying shoes/heels. If I come across a pair of heels that gave me that "Wow, it's you!", I will instantly grab that pair of heels, regardless of the price (well, thats a bit misleading. I wouldnt spend a grand on a pair of heels. I may be spontanoes but I am not that crazy). So for now, I will continue to look for that perfect pair of heels as well as my Prince Charming in hope that someday, my Prince Charming will put on my perfect pair of heels, my Glass slippers, into my feet. And then, we will live happily ever after....................
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Yes, I have woken up...............

Cartoons

2009-07-07T15:14:00.005+08:00

I love watching cartoons! Cartoons like Transformers, Care Bears, Smurfs and Thundercats were part of my daily life as a kid. Everyday without fail, I would be in the living room between 4.30pm to 5.30pm watching the variety of cartoons that they have on tv. My favourites were definately the Care Bears, My Little Pony, Jem and the Holograms and of 'cos Smurf. These are generally cartoons that girls liked to watch as they are not violent and has a lighter plotline. Guys on the other hand loves watching cartoons like Thundercats, He-Man & She-Ra, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Captain Planet and those superheros cartoons like Superman and Spiderman. These cartoons are more action-packed and their plotlines are heavier. Everyday at school, my friends and I would be talking about the cartoons that we have watched the day before and we would sometimes recapture the storyline of the cartoon and have role play amongst one another. Imagine going into a classroom and seeing a bunch of us shouting "Thundercats Roarrrrrr!"

Thundercats - The cartoon

Cartoons bring out the creativity and the imaginative skills in us. It allows us to think out of the box and imagining ourselves doing the impossible. Without it, my life would be just a piece of white paper with no colours or pictures in it. On one yum cha session that I had with some friends a few weeks ago, we went back memory lane and were discussing about our favourite cartoons and how most of these cartoons are coming back into the big screen as motion pictures. At the hype of the discussion (you should have seen our faces when we talked about these cartoons. It was like as if we have gone back to being 8 and 9 years old again and shouting "Thundercats Roarrrr......!') Mr 6ft Tall asked,

"Seriously, what cartoons do the kids nowadays watched?" All of a sudden, we all shut up and started looking at one another.

"Urmm....Spongebob and Squarepants and maybe......Powerpuff Girls?"

"But those are nothing compared to Tranformers and G.I.Joe," said Lumie.

With that I started to wonder. What kind of cartoons does schoolkids watched nowadays? So i did my survey and asked a few bunch of primary and secondary school kids. To my suprise, their answers was,

"I don't watch any cartoons because I don't have time to watch," said a 10 year old girl.

"Wow, businesswoman huh. So busy until no time to watch cartoons. Where does all your time go to?" I asked.

"Going to school, going to tuition classes and doing homework loh!" the same girl exclaimed. I looked at the rest of the kids and they all nodded their head in agreement.

Kids these days are so preoccupied in their educations that they don't have the time to do anything else, except for the occasional time where they play computer games. Is it because there are no good cartoons for them to watch or is it because they prefer to play computer games instead? Time to ponder.....but seriously, besides those occasional cartoons that Waltz Disney showed in the cinema, there are absolutely no such cartoons as those that were in my times. Can you imagine they do a motion picture on Spongebob & Squarepants the movie???

Do share with me your favourite cartoons and we can go goo-goo ga-ga over these cartoons.

The Care Bears

Jem and the Holograms Smurf

He Man and The master of the Universe

DOTA

2009-06-29T16:54:00.005+08:00

Many years ago, when I was still in college, I remembered hearing my girlfriends whinning and moaning about their boyfriends going to the internet cafe to play online games. At first, I thought there is nothing wrong with them playing computer games, 'cos after all guys are into stuff like that. Well apparently, the guys become so involved that they go to the internet cafe everyday, for hours, sometimes till dawn breaks and they forgot that they are even attached!!! One day, I had a conversation with 2 of my best friends whom was plotting a plan to burn down the internet cafe.

"M, you buy the gasoline and I'll buy the matchsticks and you, Bev can be the driver. We'll drive to the internet cafe and burn it down!" T said

Of cos, this plan never happen.

After Uni, I dated this guy whom also loves to play computer games. The first few months when we started going out, our dates consists of going to the internet cafe in Subang with him playing the game whilst I sit beside him to chat with frens on msn. J was addicted to this new game called DOTA (Defense of the Ancient). For the next 3-4 hours or so, all I heard coming from J is "Run, Run, Run.............." or "Atttttacccckkkkkkk!!!" I tried to understand the game and actually succumb myself to learning to play the game (yea this was how much patience I had) but seriously, I don't see the fun in pressing one button on the keyboard repeatedly and shouting "Run or "Attack" at each other. J eventually gave up DOTA which was a real relief to me at that time and ever since I have never stepped into any of these internet cafes or hear anything about DOTA or Counterstrike or WarCraft (and that's 4 years ago). Until now..........

A bunch of my guy friends have decided that DOTA is suddenly their best friend so much so that they are putting in whatever time they have just to play the game. They rushed from work (sometimes they even finished work early), skipped gym or whatever appointments that they have just to meet in the internet cafe to play the game. They will play for a good 2-3 hours, break to have a quick dinner (I swear if the internet cafe offers dinner served right up to their face while they continue playing DOTA, they would gladly pay for that service) and then rushed back to the internet cafe for another hour or so. Outside of the internet cafe, their conversations now revolves around heroes like "Panderan Brewmaster", "Axe" and "Faceless Void" and powers like "Culling blade" and "Chronos Sphere". It can be pretty annoying because you have no idea what they are talking about. Worst of all is, when you talk to them about other things like work and stuff, they give you monosllyabic answers but once they start talking about DOTA, you can see their eyes glistening up and suddenly the world around them turns into the world of DOTA. You can see them envisioning themselves as the characters in the game and they can even mimicked the actions of these characters. All we girls do, is to shake our heads at them and wonder to ourselves when do they ever grow up.

You must be wondering why a sudden interest in DOTA. Well let me explain, I was supposed to go to the gym with these people when one of them called and said,

"Not going to the gym. Got calling!" And he just hung up!

For now, I shall leave you with a pic of DOTA (in case you have never heard of it or wondering what it's all about). A piece of advise to you girls, if your boyfriends has never played DOTA or Warcraft or Counterstrike before, never ever let him touch it, or you will definately regret it.

Back from the dead

2009-06-26T15:31:00.002+08:00

Ever heard of the phrase "死而復生"? It simply means "coming back from the dead". It's just what I am feeling right now.

After being really 'out of salt' for the past months, the old 'me' is finally coming back. I have finally decided to 'throw away' whatever that had happened the last few months and to concentrate on what I really want to do now.......'having nothing but fun'. I have been so restless these few days and itching to have some adventures. I am a typical monkey that cannot sit still and needs to move around at all times. If you do have any adventures that are "nothing porno but everything fun", please do include me........I am in for it......

In the meantime, I'll leave you with something that I am going to try on the 12th July. Its called the Skytrex Adventure and this time around I am going for the Extreme course. Check this out:
http://www.skytrex-adventure.com/index.php

Life's a Climb

2009-06-22T13:50:00.006+08:00

Have you heard the lastest Miley Cyrus song "The Climb"? Watch the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs

The song is just the perfect epitome if you are in one of those situations where you are stuck in a rut and have obstacles after obstacles keep coming into your way, so much so that you just wanna give up. I have been in stituations like this before. When shit happens, there's just no way to cure it or stop it, and the only thing is to wish that it doesn't go any worst than it already is.

We all go through all sort of struggles in our life. Some can be big and some can be small and some can be so bad that we wish the floor would open up and swallow us alive and not have to worry about these problems anymore. However, if we open our heart and see the positive sides of these struggles that we faced, we will somehow or rather realised that the problems that we once thought was so 'big and unbearable' is not as bad as we thought so. Some wise person once said, "Its not the end results that matters, but its the process that counts." It doesn't matter the outcome of the struggles you faced but it is the whole process of how you faced and overcome the problems that counts. At the end of the day, even if the outcome is bad, it still doesn't mean that you have lost out or that you are a failure, but that whatever happened makes you a stronger person and that you can at least tell yourself that you have tried your best. "Life's a climb". There will be more problems and struggles that is awaiting us and we always have to be prepared for all these battles. With this I leave you with the lyrics of the song:

The Climb - Miley Cyrus
I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreamin' but
There's a voice inside my head saying you'll never reach it.
Every step I'm taking.
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction.
My faith is shakin.
But I, I gotta keep tryin.
Gotta keep my head held high.

Chorus:
**There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb. **

The struggles I'm facing.
The chances I'm taking.
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking.
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah.
Just gotta keep going.
And I, I gotta be strong.
Just keep pushing on 'cause,

Chorus **

Yeah-yeah
There's always gonna be another mountain.
I'm always gonna wanna make it move.
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes you're gonna have to lose.
Ain't about how fast I get there.
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side.
It's the climb.
Yeah-yeah-yea
Keep on moving,
Keep climbing,
Keep the faith, Baby.
It's all about,
It's all about the climb.
Keep your faith,
Keep your faith.
Whoa, O Whoa.

Koh Phangan

2009-06-17T19:59:00.004+08:00

A few weeks ago, a couple of frens and I went to Koh Phangan for a short but well-needed holiday. Koh Phangan is a small island in the east coast of Thailand, just about an hour's ferry ride away from Koh Samui. It is an island that is famous for it's full moon party, and in case you haven't heard anything about it, it's a party that the people in the island organises it in the beach every full moon of the month. Booze is cheap, music is good and basically you just party till you get wasted and till dawn comes.

There's 2 ways to get to Koh Phangan. The faster way is to fly to Koh Samui and then take a ferry ride to Koh Phangan, but the flight to Koh Samui can be rather expensive. The other way is to fly to Krabi, then take a 2 - 3 hour car ride to Surat Thani and then another 3 hours ferry ride to the island. We took the 2nd option as it was definately much cheaper although the journey took us a whole day.

The 4 of us in the ferry - Kobayashi, Feli, me and Lumie.

By the time we arrived in the island it was about 8.30pm (Thai time). Then, it took us another 45 minutes on a very bumpy jeep ride to the resort, Candle Hut Resort. The roads in the island are rather narrow and under-developed which had actually caused us a few scares throughout the whole ride. However, as we arrived in the resort we were greeted with a warm welcome by all the staffs and was immediately taken to our villa. The resort had about 10 seaview villas and 20 wooden bungalows a swimming pool, a bar by the pool and a restaurant. The resort faces the sea and shares the beach with few other resorts along the whole stretch of beach.

Candle Hut Resort in the day-time

Our seaview villa which overlooks the swimming pool and is seconds away from the beach. The villa is pretty much basic with modern ammenities. It has a huge king size bed, a closet, a toilet and the shower is outdoor. I actually took my shower under the moonlight, which I found rather romantic.

The bedroom which Feli and I shared.

Food in Thailand doesn't need much introduction. It's absolutely yum to the max with its variety of sauces and curries. The food in the island is not cheap as compared to those in Bangkok as the island basically depends on tourism to boost its economy. Food in the island is pretty good too and there are also other Western food to eat, in case you don't like anything too spicy. However, the only strange thing I find is there is absolutely no coconut to drink in the island. They have coconut juices which they used old coconuts to blend it to a drink but they don't have any of those fresh young coconut drinks. The strangest part is, the island's main export is coconut!!! So all the fresh coconut is being exported and non of it is being available for the island's consumption.

Some stir-fried mince pork with vegetables.

The yummiest Tom Yum Goong (tom yum soup with prawns)

Som Tum or papaya salad

Basically, the island is a good place for relaxation, snorkelling and diving. However, the water in the place where we went snorkelling is not as clean as compared to Pulau Perhentian or Pulau Redang. The whole island is beautiful and unspoilt. You can go from one place to another by boat instead of going thru the whole bumpy road ride.

Lumie all geared up for his snorkelling.
Part of Than Sadet waterfall. The water is not clean. I did not managed to go all the way up to the waterfall as the rocks are very rocky and slippery.

That's us minus me, having a meal in one the few restaurant around the area where our resort were.

Basically, all we did was eat, sleep, swim, lay on the beach and talk nonsense. We did go to the full moon party which I have to say, is nothing much to shout about, considering the fact that being in the late 20s, parties and clubbings just doesnt appeal me anymore. However, if you are still into clubbings and partying, you will definately enjoy the full moon party as booze is very cheap and you have a variety of people from all nations gathering together with just one motive - to get wasted and have fun.

If you just want to have a relaxing holiday, Koh Phangan is definately the place to be in. Spend at least 5 nights there and you will have a good and relaxing holiday. I am proud to say that I came back to Malaysia with a fresh mind and a nice tan.

Being Altruistic

2009-05-25T11:40:00.003+08:00

I rushed off for work this morning and was at the cross-junction just outside my housing area when I saw a 70year old uncle trying to fix his old bicycle. I stopped the car for a few seconds and stared at him. The piece of steel metal that protects the back wheel of the bicycle was bent and it must have caused the back wheel of his bicycle to get stuck as well. I debated to myself if I should go down and help him, but I hesitated. Just then I saw a car coming towards my direction, and as I was stopped right in the middle of the cross-junction, I had to move my car. So I drove off, but took a quick glance to see if the uncle is ok or not. As I drove off, I felt a sense of guilt and I cursed at myself, for not getting out of the car to help the uncle. Immediately, I made a detour and went back to the cross-junction, but by this time, the uncle was already trying to carry the bicycle and walking towards the bicycle shop, which was about 300 meters away from him. Staring at the 70 year old uncle struggling to carry his bicycle, I hesitated again if I should go down and help him to carry the bicycle or at least put it into my car. Again, for some ungodly reasons, I drove off again, but this time, I saw uncle slowly making his way to the bicycle shop. Being angry at myself for not helping the poor old man, I quickly said a little prayer for him, as its the least I can do.

Throughout the whole journey to the office, I started scolding myself for not being altruistic to help the poor man. I questioned myself,
"Why didn't I go down and help the uncle?" Normally if its a friend, I would have not hesitate further, but to help my friend straightaway. So, what would have caused me to behave in such heartless manner? What was I afraid off? Was I afraid that the uncle was just part of a scheme whereby, if I stopped to help, some random guys would come up and robbed me or take my car away? These are just excuses that I gave myself to make myself feel better.

Nevertheless, I urged you all never to follow my footsteps. If you have come across any helpless people on the road or anywhere for that matter, please do take a minute or two to analyse the situations. If there is no sense of danger, please do help out the poor soul. Think about what happen when we are the one in need of help, and people just passed by us without even giving us a single hand. Just another food for thought, but if you do have similar stories, do share with me.

Music is my soul

2009-05-16T19:42:00.006+08:00

I was on my way to the office, late as usual, and boobing my head to the song 'Lucky' by Jason Miraz and Colbie Cailat. Listening to the catchy tune of the song, I sigh and wish that I was laying on beach on the sundeck sun tanning, drinking a chill coconut, listening to my Ipod and listening to waves breaking on the shore. Instead, I am dressed in my OL (office lady) clothes, with the most uncomfortable high heels and speeding my way to the office.

I love music. As a kid, I grew up listening to dad's favourites like Gloria Estefan, Santana, and Bee Gees and mum's sentimental ballads like Whitney Houston and Lionel Richie. At the same time, I was also exposed to Chinese music from legendaries like Alan Tham, Leslie Cheung, Danny Chan and Anita Mui. Whenever and wherever I go, there's always music around me and each time I hear my favourite songs on the radio or the tv, I will be 'croaking' my hearts out. Without actually knowing the real meaning behind each song, it is the tune of the songs that actually catches my attentions. Songs like "Superwoman", "Miss you like crazy", "Don't know much" and "Endless love" are my all time favourites. Besides all these sentimental ballads, I also have a love for dance music especially those from Micheal Jackson, New Kids on the Block, Mc Hammer and Vanila Ice's "Ice-Ice Baby". Each time, these dance music comes on the radio or on tv, I would be boobing my head up and down and moving my body and hands like a possesed child.

As I reached my teens in the 90s, music from the likes of Mariah Carey, New Kids On the Block, Tommy Page and of cos my all-time favourite Leon Lai are my source of inspirations in my life. The lyrics of the songs suddenly became so meaningful to me that some of these songs guided me in throughout my troubled teenhood. As much as I love music and I love to sing and dance, I never once thought of becoming a singer as I can sing, as much as a frog can croak and I do not like being in a spotlight. However, if you take me to a karaoke, I'll hogged on the microphone the whole night and sing till my hearts content.

Even up to today, music continues to motivate me in my life. Each song tell its own stories and when we listen to these songs, we can relate our experiences or what we are going thru with the songs. Songs like "Endless love" and "I will always love you" are some of those lovey-dovey songs that professes his/her love for each other whereas songs like "How Do I live?" and "Where do broken hearts go?" talks about our emotions of being heartbroken. Each of this song also represents different occasions and moods when we listen to it. Reggae songs or songs that has a really catchy tune like Jason's Miraz "I'm yours" and Ben Harper's "Steal my Kisses" reminds me of the sun, sea and sand, whereas whenever I am stress out after a whole day of work, I'll listen to songs from Norah Jones or Joanna Wang which would usually put me to ease.

Being an English educated person, I actually listen to a lot of Chinese musics and although I may not understand the whole lyrics fully, I have to say that some of these Chinese lyrics are very poetic and the words are very expressive and speaks clearly of the writer's emotions and in most times, our emotions.

I don't know if I can ever live without music. I think I would probably not function in the best state of mine if I ever live a day without music. What about you? What is your song all-time songs? Are there any songs that speaks of your heart and soul? Do share with me, as there are plenty more songs that I would have not heard before.

My tribute to friendships

2009-05-05T18:42:00.002+08:00

I was driving back home this evening and I heard a very interesting topic on the Chinese radio, One FM. The topic was "Do you have any friends that had been thru thick and thin with you?" Listening to some of the callers that called in, one of the major complaints were friends that were there when they had money and then disappeared into thin air when they needed help, especially when it comes to money.

That got me to think. I have come across friends that were there merely for the companionship and when I thought I could count on them to help in times of desperate needs, they run away like I have some sort of disease. On the other hand, I have always been blessed to have a bunch of true friends that are always there for me when I needed them.

I grew up with a bunch of friends that I knew since primary school (one of whom I have known since kindergarten) and we had gone through a lot of good and bad stuff together. There's ButtercupTjin who has gone through so many medical and hospital trips with me, Molly Mo who was always there for me especially when I had car troubles. I can always count on Mel to lend me her ears especially when I need to groan and moan about the 'oh-so-unfair' life of mine, Mosquito Wen who's always been a big brother to me and who has provided me with all that 'boring' talks about bfs, and of cos, there's Dickhead Drew and Mr. 6 ft Tall whom has provided so much laughters and stomach pain, not to mention some good nitemares in my life. These bunch of my childhood friends are friends that I can always count upon to share all my ups and downs in my life.

Then, there's friends that I knew during my days in New Zealand. There's the ever so hot and beautiful Shann, the artsy fartsy Hansy and the good-looking yet down-to-earth Wil Wil. These 3 wonderful creatures has been my lifesavers for providing me with the laughters and guidance to last a lifetime. They have been my pillar of strength and even till today, they continue to support every decision that I made and are there to pick me up when I fall from grace.

There's also some random friends that I met through other friends and some of them turn out to be as true of a friend as those of my childhood and Uni friends. There's OW whom I have known in college but were not close with her till she has moved over to Sydney. For the past year or so, her endless support and motivation has been nothing but encouraging and sometimes I pinched myself for not realising earlier her good side till she's miles away from me. Like OW, sweet Rach has also been a true friend. Being true to her horoscope, she doesn't say much, but quietly supports me from behind and I can definately count on her in times of dire needs.

Friends come and go, but true friendship stays. You may not need to have a lot of friends but those that don't leave you when you are in trouble, are friends that are definately keepers. I treasure these friendships from the bottom of my heart and am thankful that GOD has blessed me with such wonderful friends. So to answer the question "Do you have any friends that been thru thick and thin with you?" my answer is yes I do and a true bunch of friends indeed.

Danger or not? How do we tell?

2009-04-15T12:39:00.005+08:00

Everyday, you hear in the newspapers, radio and TV about girls of all ages being kidnapped, raped and killed. Some that was kidnapped were lucky enough to have been released upon ransom or are rescued. Some on the other hand, did not have the same faith and was either raped or killed, or worst, both! So as girls what do we do to protect ourselves from ending up on the same faith as these girls?

"Carry a pepper spray with you," a guy friend told us girls when we were discussing about this issue.

When you are held at knife point or gun point, do you even have the courage or that sensibility to do anything but shiver in your pants, let alone taking out that pepper spray and spray at the prey. What do we as girls do to protect ourselves? Stay at home at all times? Learn martial arts or some sort of kungfu? Or hire a 24 hours bodyguard? I guess the only sensible thing to do is be alert and becareful at all times and to try and avoid dark places or avoid being alone in public areas.

However, there are also times when there are outsiders that are actually there to help you, but how do you know their good intentions? A girl friend of mine was telling me her story. She was driving back home one evening when suddenly another car came up to her and was pointing to her car. She didn't know what the guy was saying and her instinct told her to ignore him and to drive faster. So, she hit on her gas pedal and drove as fast as she could until suddenly, she started hearing some screeching sound and smelt some burning smells. Quickly, she swerved to the side of the road to check out her car. Her left rear wheel was totally flat and so worn off that she was actually driving on her rims, which explained for the burning smell and the screeching sounds. Then, the guy in the car stop behind her car and came up to her. He was a 40 something Malay guy and he asked my friend,
"Ah moi, saya tadi cakap you punya tayar sudah pancik, tapi ah moi tak mau dengar."
"Maaf pakcik, tak nampak tadi," my friend lied. She didn't want to tell him the truth, that she was afraid he could be harmful towards her. Then, with her sweetest smile, my friend asked him,
"Pakcik, boleh tolong tukar tayar untuk saya?"

A few years ago, I was resting at home in the afternoon on one of the weekdays. I just got back from my studies in New Zealand and was in between looking for a job. I heard a knocked on my gate and I went out to have a look. One young guy, probably in his early 20s was outside my gate. He said he was working for Indah Waters and was assigned to do some water testing in some houses around the neighbourhood in Klang. He asked if he could come into the house to test the tap water in my house and to explain more about the water in our area. I looked at him for a short while, deciding if I should let him in or not. My instinct told me that this guy was harmless and so I open the gate and allow him into the house to test the tap water. After testing the water with some gadgets that he had, he even showed me the results and explained to me that the tap water in our neighbourhood is actually safe for drinking. 10 minutes later, he left the house. Just as he left the house, my phone rang. It seemed that one of my neighbours had called my mum and told her that I had let a stranger into the house and she called me to tell me off. The next day, she forwarded me all the emails about girls getting raped, murdered, kidnapped and everything else you can ever imagine.

The thing is, it is true that there are people out there that has a good heart and just wants to help. However, with all the news that we have heard so far, it is quite difficult to judge who is there to help and who is there to cause trouble. The other thing is, if the person has good intentions to help, does he/she expects a favour back in return? How do we judge?

Something for you to ponder upon.......

A search for the perfect handbag

2009-04-05T20:38:00.007+08:00

Recently, I was in a frenzy search for a handbag. My 1 year old white handbag which cost RM200 and was a gift by my mum (actually, it was more like I made her buy it for me) from a pretty notable Spanish clothing brand had decided to retire. The clothe inside the bag had given away after 3 months of using it and although I sew it, 8 months later, the clothe gave way again, one inche at a time, till now the whole piece of black clothe inside the bag is holding on to its last piece of thread.

I am a practical person, as I will buy to get a piece of handbag that can be use for all occasions. Being a woman, I need a big handbag that I can put all my rubbish in it - my wallet, camera, pencil box (yes, I still use one), keys, hand lotions, lipsticks, lollies and whatever necessary things to get on my daily life. Being practical, the handbag has to be either black or white just to match whatever clothing that I will be wearing that day.

At first I thought, if I spend a bit more money on a good branded handbag, it would probably last longer and I do not have to worry about the quality of the bag. So, I seached in magazines and websites to look for all types of handbags, LV, Coach, Gucci, Dior, you name it. Boy, was I shocked with the price on each of the handbags. Even the cheapest of it would cost about RM1000 and above for a small evening handbag. A big handbag for my daily use would probably cost me RM1500 and above depending on the label.Galliera bag from LV which costs a whooping (drumroll pls) RM3k and above. A bag that absolutely adored and one that I can only drool when I see someone in the mall carrying it.

I have never in my life purchase a branded handbag before and although I have accompanied many friends into these shops and drool with envy over watching them purchase bags after bags with their shiny plastic card, I told myself that I will walked into one of these shops one day and come out with my own branded handbag. Now, you may ask, why spend so much money for a branded bag when you can get one for 10-20 times cheaper and spend the money on something more valuable. If I may say, these bags have better quality as the materials that they use are of higher quality and their workmanship is definately top-notch, and with that, these bag can be use for a few years at least. When paired with even the most boring and 'cincai' clothes that you are wearing that day, the bag would really bring out the glamour in you.

So as the last thread of my white handbag gave way, I forced myself to make a decision and to get a handbag ASAP. So, did I go into the LV shop to get that Galliera that I have been eyeing for ages? The answer is this

I got this from a boutique in Bangsar called "Gossips" and it only cost me............RM80.10 after 10%. Pretty good deal huh? I decided not to burn a hole in my wallet and to go cheap because I needed to save for something bigger which I will reveal when I have made a decision. Till then, do reveal to me your most priciest handbag ever bought and let me drool over it.

Happy Easter!!!

A wish list

2009-04-02T10:38:00.002+08:00

I just realised that its already 2nd April 2009 and in another 20 over days, I am actually celebrating my last year of being in the twenties (a friend said that to me and I actually glared at her - I don't need to be reminded of getting older). As days began to approach, I began to wonder, in my past 28 years of my life, what have I achieved that I consider something to be proud of. It's true I have done some really crazy, out-of-the-world stuff, things that gave me that adrenaline rush - bungee jump, swimming with the dolphin in the big blue ocean, kiss some random guy when I was drunk, a very spontaneous out-of-the-blue road trip are some of the things that I can say, "Been there....done that!!!" At the same time, I have also pursued some life-long dreams of mine, like, actually fallen in love (twice in fact), open my own kindergarten, holiday trips to some destinations that I really want to go, learnt new things like surfing and skiing and most importantly, I discovered more about myself and what I truly want in my life. Well, to sum it all, I think I did pretty decent in my 28 years of life.

A few weeks ago, I dug out a notebook that I have buried along with all my other old books. In the notebook, was something that I wrote when I was 23 years old "A list of things I want to do before I reach 30". Looking thru the 20something list, I realised that I have only managed to do only half of it, whilst the other half was something I had either lost interest at or that is beyond my control. So I thought, now that I am actually coming to my 30s, I should start with another

"List of things that I wanna do before I turn 35".
1) Sky diving - never had a chance to do it when I was in UNI
2) Places I want to visit
- Greece and all that beautiful islands in the area
- Korea for that yummilicious food and those ultra cute Korean guys
- Japan for its culture, food and of cos shopping
- Egypt for its history
- New York.........becos its New York
- go surfing in Hawaii
- go skiing in the Alps
- China to see the beautiful sceneries, its histories and it culture
- Alaska to freeze my ass off and to see Aurora
- Mediterranean cruise
- exotic islands like Maldives, Syechelle, Bora-Bora, New Caledonia, Caribbean
islands
3) Have another kindergarten
4) Have my own candy and ice-cream store
5) Get my own place
6) Get a brand new car
7) Learn to make desserts
8) Live in Bali or an exotic island for a few months just doing nothing.
9) Backpacking
10) last for not least, to actually settle down and have a family of my own.

In comparisons, my list before seems to be a list of material things and doing crazy stuff. Now as I go into a new stage of my life, my priority has change and that the list of things that I wanna do seems to be heavier and consists of more practical and long-term commitment. Making out a list like this is easy but fulfilling the list is difficult and sometimes beyond our control. However, it doesn't hurt to actually make a list because it does help to know what we want in our life and what is important and what is not. I do encourage you to make a list of your own as a guidance of what you actually want to do in your life and view it every now and then. Everytime you fulfilled one of the list, give it a tick so that you know how many more you have to go. Make sure that your list is practical and not something out of the ordinary and it has to be something that you really want to do.....and try to fulfill it.

Good Luck on the list......

A blue blue day

2009-03-24T10:39:00.001+08:00

I woke up this morning and was greeted by the gloomy dark skies and pouring rain. On top of that, my mum broke a rather sad news to me - a close uncle of mine just past away in the mid morning. He has been battling with lung cancer for a few years and after some pain and sufferings, it's his time to go.

However, it was as if the sky understood my mood lately and has decided to compliment me with its gloominess throughout the whole day and when the sun comes out again tomorrow, I have to stop sulking and to start afresh.

Lately, I went through one major disappointment in my life which completly threw me off course and sets me to wonder "Why is this happening to me again? Is it something that I have done or have I not done enough?" Sometimes, when one disappointment comes after another, you can't help but to wonder if all these will ever stop. The feeling of being disappointed is as if the whole world has stop revolving and that no matter what I do to stand up on my feet again, the pain will continue to pierce through me.

I do know though, like the sky, things will definately get better and all these are just temporary and another obstacles that we all have to go through in life in some form or other. Tomorrow, the sun will shine and it will be a better day for me.

A Happy face to cheer you up, if you feel the same like me......Keep smiling people.

When we do the unexpected

2009-03-08T21:10:00.002+08:00

One Saturday night, some few weeks ago, I came back home at about 2am in the morning after a late night movie with some friends and realised that my mum was not home yet. Thinking that she was at an aunt's place playing mahjong (which she normally does on a Saturday night), I did not give it much of a thought and went straight to bed. I woke up at 9 the next morning to go to the toilet and saw my mum coming in from the front door.
"Oh mum, why are you up so early?"
"Actually, I just got back," my mum said yawning. "I supposedly went out to have lunch with Uncle Joshua yesterday afternoon. Then, from lunch, we went to PJ to this club to play some poker, and then had dinner and supper and then went up to Genting for another round of gambling. Left Genting at 6.30am and then had bak kut teh and Uncle Joshua finally decides to send me home. I am so tired, I am going to bed now." And with that, she walked to her room.

I looked at my mum, my eyes wide open, wondering which alien had taken over this woman that I had grown up with. This woman, my mum, someone that likes control and planning so much, a person that I have always thought was too OCD (Obessive-Compulsive Disorder) for my liking. Someone that I would never in my world thought would do something so spontaneos and adventurous but yet I admired her guts to take the chance and to do something out of the unexpected. So that got me thinking, "When is the last time I did something out of the unexpected?"

Some years ago, when I was still in University in New Zealand, I was at a bubble tea shop with 2 of my girlfriends when suddenly, Jacq said,
"Hey, let's do a road trip, like now!"
Me and Jess looked at her, our eyes widen, thinking that she must have gone out of her mind. She managed to convince the both of us and suddenly the next thing we knew, we went back home packing our bags and before we knew it, we were driving up North of New Zealand, to this beautiful place called the Bay of Island, while one of us were on the phone looking for a motel to stay in. We stayed there for 3 days and had a blast of our time, swimming with the dolphins, had the best oysters in the world, drank till our hearts content and chatted and laughed till we passed out in our bed.

Some times, we are so bogged down with stress from work or from school and we are so used to our daily life that we forgot to have some fun. True enough we go out and have a drink or two or go clubbing and jiggy our way till dawn comes but what is the most unexpected thing that you have done in your life. Something that could either be too funny, too much fun or too much to handle, but something that will forever be in our memory.

I remembered a story of 3 guy friends whom did something so funny, silly and unexpected that will forever gives us a laugh or two everytime we talked about it. One mid morning (it was about 3am in the morning) it was during Chinese New Year, Dickhead Drew, Penang Boy, and Fatty M drove over to this arch enemy' house and lighted this huge and long red firecrackers right outside the house, which of course frightened the whole household. The 3 culprits drove off laughing their heads off and tried their luck again, this time behind a mall, when 2 cops shoved their rifles up Dickhead Drew and Penang Boy's ass while the third police held a rifle up on Fatty M. The 3 boys then spend the night in the police station trying to win their way out of jail and finally managed to paved their way away and lived to tell us their heroic stories.

It is ok to do something really fun once in a while, something that you wouldn't normally do, like backpacking or fake a sickie and go shopping. It will definately add some spice to your life and take away all the stress from work and when you get back to your everyday life, you will have a new level of energy to battle whatever that is coming towards you. Do something out of the unexpected and share with me your adventure, as I will be green with envy.

The feeling of uncertainty

2009-03-05T16:49:00.003+08:00

Lately, I have been going through some uncertainties that has deeply impacted my daily life. I could not eat much, lost a bit of weight, was constantly worried about it, couldn't even concentrate on my work and was not in the mood to go out or do anything else.

I like things to be in order - in black and white, as then I know what I can control, do or anticipate. Of cos you may say there are things that is beyond our control and sometimes things may happen even without our knowledge. However, once things are in black and white, I know what my next step is and I can proceed into doing it. When things are 'grey' to me, I find it difficult to adapt as I don't know what I should do or should not do and what can and cannot be done. Basically to me its like "Now what?"

A good friend asked me once,
"But why not? Being grey isnt that bad. You don't have to take control of your life all the time. Sometimes, its nice to expect the unexpected."
I thought about it for a long while and I do agree with him to a certain expect. I try not to expect things most of the times and when the unexpected happens, it can be a nice suprise. But what happens when the unexpected turns out to be bad? What can we do with that?
"You can't do much! You just have to be optimistic and embrace whatever that comes to you," he pointed out.

That, I can do since I am usually optimistic and have heaps of possitivity that I can share with some of you. But that feeling of uncertainty is not a pleasant thing to go through, for it stick to my brain like leeches, eats out all my energies and drained out whatever feelings and emotions I have and does not leave me till I have it solved - or I come to a black or white answer.

"You have to learn to let go," the same friend said to me. Easy said than done. When you have all your feelings and emotions delved into it for so long, it takes more than just 2 words of "Let go". But I do know that sooner or later, and with time, I will learn to let go and embrace this uncertainty with open arms. Oh well, time will tell.

The irony of life

2009-02-21T11:58:00.005+08:00

This whole week has been full of ups and downs. I went thru this whole week complaining about the unfairness of my life and moaning and groaning about it. Tears stream down my face like tap water and I was actually condenming at whoever that pisses me off or happens to just walked pass me. It was that bad.

Then, one fine Saturday, I read one Blogpost by a very good friend that is living in Australia and I was touch beyond words. She wrote about the people around her, her friends and her grandparents that had passed away and how she sometimes could feel their presence around her, in different forms of life, be it a moth or an insect. Her best friend passed away when they were both 16 years old and she broke down crying because she felt that she had so many unspoken words that she wanted to tell him in person.

Reading her blog, I asked myself, how can someone so young go through all these loses in her life and how did she cope with it? It's true that we have someone or other that had actually passed away but I never had anyone that close to me that passed away and impacted me in a way that it had on my friend. I bitch about the smallest things that pisses me off and "oh how unfair my life can be", or that "why are all the bad things happening to me" that I forgot to be grateful about the other better things that I have in my life. The fact that I still have a job to support my oh-so-expensive lifestyle and that my mum still nags at me for not closing her bedroom door when the aircond in her room is switched on, are something that I am actually grateful that I still have.

It is irony that we always think our problems are big and messy but in actual fact, there are many other people out there that are facing bigger and messier problems than we do. There's a phrase in Cantonese that says "家家有本難念的經" which means everyone has its own problem, be it big or small, but still a problem that somehow or rather affects us in a way that could either bring us down or make us a better person. Now that I am aware of my situations, I have to say this to my friend (the one who wrote the blog),

"Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights with me. Without it, I would still be moaning and groaning about my 'little' problem."

Some blue days

2009-02-16T11:06:00.002+08:00

After 2 months of excitements and happiness, I am back to my blue days. At this stage of my life, I began to question about my future and what I am suppose to do. There are so many "if only" and "buts" that I questioned myself, so much so that none of these questions have been answered. There are many times when I told myself that if only I could leave KL and go somewhere far away where I could lead my own life, but due to my commitments and responsibility here in KL, its easier said than done. When I spoke to my good friend, R, about this, she said,
"Why think so much and so far? You never know what is going to happen to you tomorrow or even the next second. Do what your instinct tells you and act upon it."

R is right but then again, I still have to think of some consequences that may happen if I act upon it without putting my 2 cents worth. So much to weight on this light brain of mine.

All wells ends well???

2009-02-05T11:40:00.004+08:00

A few weeks ago, I wrote "A spoonful of efforts and a large dose of sincerity" about the guys efforts when going after a girl, from the girls point of view. A few days later, a friend wrote me an email and told me to write another post from the guys point of view. She posted me a few questions.
1) What makes guys tick?
2) How do we tell if the guys likes us or not?
3) When do they decide that they don't like us anymore?

With these few questions up my sleeves, I went around to snoop and investigate with a few of the guy friends that I know. According to most guys, usually its the physical appearance that first catches their attentions and this is really very subjective. Some guys gets the butterflies in their stomach just by the whole physical appearance of a girl, some guys are just about the boobies and the ass and very few guys are all about the personality (but, there are these kind of guys out there). However, for a guy to really want that girl, she has to have some kind of personalities that attracts the guys and he will go all out to get the girl. But how do we know if the guy likes us or not?
Well according to the guys, you can tell by their gestures, all their smses, the phone calls, the flirty talk (really guys???) asking the girls out and all the little sweet things that they do just to get that smile from the girls. However, there are also guys that don't do anything but yet claimed that they like the girls and wants to go after the girls. How do we justify these kind of guys?
"They disturb us, leaves stupid messages every now and then, get you all worked up and then they drop you like hot water when I actually called them and asked them out," said a girlfriend.
"These guys are just plain F**kers who doesn't really know what they want in their life or that they have other better things to do than go after girls," another girlfriend proclaimed.
Well, my advise is to hell with these guys - after all there are plenty of fishes in the sea, dont waste our time on a small tiny Nemo, rite?
Then come to the 3rd question - When do they decide they don't like us anymore? According to a few guys, it usually happens when the relationship becomes a standstill and there's no spark between the guy and the girl, thats when the guy decides to call off the relationship. How much does a third party plays in the breakup of the relationship? Quite a bit I suppose, but it depends on situations. If the relationship between 2 person is in a standstill and then a third party comes along, I guess it gives the guy or the girl an excuse to move on. However, if the relationship between 2 person is still great and all and a 3rd party comes along, its always easier to blame the whole breakup on the 3rd party isnt it? But think about it, you cannot simply move on to another person when you are all in loved with your loved ones....there must be something in the relationship that is bothering the guy or the girl.
I want to say that its usually easier for guys to move on in their life after their breakups, but I know this is not true. I know some sensitive souls out there that do feel really bad for breaking up with the girls, just that they tend to keep it to themselves.
This is my 2 cents worth of research that I have done. Do tell me if what I said is true or not.
Till then, Gong Xi Fa Chai everyone....still another 4 days more to go.

A spoonful of effort and a large dose of sincerity

2009-01-06T10:53:00.010+08:00

A few weeks ago, a guy friend, T, asked me a question "How can you tell if a girl likes you or not?" I told him that you can tell from her gestures, the way she flirts with him and whether she enjoys going out with him or not. Then, I continued to ask him,
"How many times have you gone out with her?"
"Once," he replied
"When was the last time you went out with her?" I asked again
"3 weeks ago," he said, giggling.
I stared at him, wide-eyed, "Bro, you only went out with her once and you want to know if she likes you already? You haven't even done anything? It takes more than just one dinner for a girl to judge whether she likes you or if she wants to go out with you officially."

We argued (in a good way) for a while, him saying that it takes a lot of guts to go after a girl and that he is nervous and afraid and all and me telling him that it only takes effort and sincerity to win a girl's heart.A few days later, I was having a girls nite out with a few girlfriends. Ms J was telling us about the things that this guy did to her. She was down with flu and the guy (that was going after her), came over to her house with a whole pack of Clarinese and a huge bottle of herbal tea. We looked at her, all of us doe-eyed with envy.

Then, Ms J continued,"We went to the cinema in Gardens, and he brought a jacket just for me, in case I feel cold."

"Oh gosh! That is so sweet of him," Ms S exclaimed and we all sighed.

"Why can't I find men like that?" Ms P exclaimed. "Its like they are non-existence in my life."

I then told the girls T's story and they burst into laughters.

"They think we are some kind of toys? They like us, they buy us, they don't like us, they don't even bother looking at us," Ms S said.

"Some guys can be clueless. They don't understand that it takes more than just a few dinners and dates to determine if we girls like them or not, or if we want to go out with them. It's all about the efforts that they put it and how much sincerity they have in us," Ms P proclaimed.

For you guys out there who is reading this, just because a girl goes out dinner with you a few times, does not really mean that the girl is interested in you. It takes more than just that for us girls to determine if we really want to be with you. You can bring a girl to the poshest restaurant or buy something that you think we like, but that may not necessarily touched us. However, pay detail to the smallest things in a girl, and you are in the game. All it actually takes is for you to show how much you really care for the girl and how much determination you have in actually getting her. That "Got mah good loh, don't have also never mind" kind of attitude doesn't work. It only shows how important the girl is to you. A food for thought, "A spoonful of effort and a large dose of sincerity" goes a long way. Good luck guys.

The end of year 2008

2008-12-30T15:38:00.004+08:00

2 more days to go and its 2009. Its amazing how time flies and we are now coming to the end of year 2008......going to a brand new year. I sat down to reflect my life this whole year. It has indeed been a fruitful year, a year where I discover more about myself, my dreams and my potentials. I gain new friends and I lose some as well. I learnt to control my temper and to tone down my personality. I learnt how to handle difficult situations without losing my wholeself but most importantly, I know what I want in my life.
As things began to slowly blossom, I am beginning to see a clear picture of my life and what I do and do not want. The question now is, how do I work towards achieving it? That is my goal in 2009 - to find ways to work towards achieving my dreams as well as to allow my potentials to go to the next level.
Now that I have my New Year's resolution, do you have yours yet? I have a suggestion for those who thinks that his/her life is already perfect and does not need any improvement or moving forward. Open your eyes and look around you. Take in what you truly see and you will realise that this world is indeed not perfect. There are many people out there, be it your family, friends, colleagues, neighbours or anyone else, that is calling out for help. Work towards what you can do to help these people and you will be truly amaze on how that one phone call or that one lunch can actually help to change a person's life. Thats your New Year's resolution - To be more open and sensitive towards the people around you. Till then, Happy New Years to everyone and may the new year brings more of what you all have plan for.

It's Christmas

2008-12-23T16:47:00.002+08:00

I have been so busy with so many different things lately that I just realised that Christmas is in another 2 days time. I love Christmas because of it gives me a very happy feeling and everybody is in such full spirits, shopping for gifts and presents for their family, friends and their other halves. As much as I love Christmas, it has never been a huge thing in my family and we almost never celebrate it. My parents are actually Christian (whom doesnt go to church anymore) and they never actually taught me and my sister to celebrate Christmas. Growing up, we never actually knew the true meaning of Christmas, except that it involves Christmas tree, snowman, presents and of course, Santa Claus. It was only in high school when I started celebrating Christmas, as my best friend, Jeannie invited me to her house and church for some Christmas function that I only learn to embrace the true Christmas spirit.

I think one of my best Christmas celebration was a few years back, when a group of me and my Uni mates went over to Taiwan for holiday. We celebrated Christmas and New Years over in Taipei city and although Christmas was not such a big thing over in Taiwan a few years ago (the people still had to go to work on Christmas Day), it was the people that I was around with that made the day extra special. I think among our group of 10 people, only 2 celebrated Christmas and the rest of us just went crazy and had heaps of fun and laughter.

I was on facebook a couple of days ago and already I'd seen a lot of comments about rushing to buy Christmas presents and wanting a white Christmas. Well, sorry to say, as much as I would love to have a white Christmas, it aint happening here in sunny KL, unless of cos you are really lucky to have jet-set over to New York or London (where my pampered sister is) to celebrate Christmas. I haven't even plan what to do tomorrow for Christmas eve and I guess I'll cross the bridge when it comes. To the rest of you out there, Merry Christmas people and enjoy all the yummilicious food you can get.

Silence is Golden

2008-12-11T20:40:00.004+08:00

Recently, I was watching a Taiwanese drama series when I stumbled upon a Mandarin phrase "安靜的力量". It took me a good half and hour to realise that it meant "Silence is Golden". I gave it a good thought, thinking what it really meant and how it applies to me. I asked myself then, "Have I ever sat down and really listen to someone when he or she talks without interrupting the person?"
"When I listen, do I put my whole heart and soul into what that person is saying?"
"Have I ever learnt to appreciate the silence between us and enjoy the companionships of whoever I am with?"

My answers for the 3 questions above are a half yes and no. I can be an introvert and an extrovert depending on the situations and my companions. Sometimes, when I am with a certain someone that I am unfamiliar with, I tend to keep more to myself and not participate much in any conversations. At the same time, I may be interested in what they are all talking about and seriously listen to them, but when I am not interested at all, I tend to switch off and be in my own world. However, when I am with a group of friends that I am very comfortable with, my extrovertism cames alive and I could yak till dawn comes. There are times when I tend to talk more than I am suppose to and then regret later. Some people may find me argumentative as when I am certain of myself, I like to make a point and talk about it till people finally gives up.

Recently, after a series of events happened on to myself, I am beginning to understand the importance of this phrase better. When I actually sit down and seriously listen to what the other party is saying, I am able to look at that person in a different point of view and learn to appreciates that person better. I have learnt that it is ok to enjoy the silence that surrounds me and my companion as the silence around us helps me to appreciates the aura and presence of one another.

The next time you are with a friend having coffee, try being silent for a short period of time - enjoy the smells of the coffee and the presence of your companionship. It helps to take away that stress from work and at the same time discover something new about your friend that you have never notice before.

A few bad moments

2008-12-03T15:14:00.001+08:00

Every now and then, we are struck by a bad luck potion which lead us to have a string of bad luck things hapenning to us one after another. This was exactly the case that happened to me in the whole month of November. It's not anything out of the unusual and nothing that I cannot handle because for the whole of year 2007, I have been struck with a whole series of bad omen that has seen me dramatically falling into the deep dungeon hole. Each time something bad happened to me, I smiled and told myself that as upset as I was, this would just be another test to make me stronger to face more challenges that will come in the future. So, in the month of November, besides the usual series of flu, headache, backache and food poisoning that happened to me one after another, my friendships with a bunch of so-called closed friends were put to a test.

Friends plays a very important part in my life as they are the main source of motivation for me in my everyday life. For friends, I am willing to do my best and play my part of what true friends are suppose to be and in return I only expect my friends to except me as their true friends. However, incidents after incidents occured once too often and I began to wonder if my friends actually accepted me as their friends and I began to evaluate my status amongst my group of friends. It was harsh reality and I found it hard to accept at first but after putting some careful thoughts into it, I redefined my meaning of true friends and I realised who they are. With that I also changed how I play my part as a friend to my true friends.

And so the ending to my few bad moments came with a big happy truth. When I was struck with these unfortunate incidents, a friend wrote me a long email giving me encouragement and her support and told me not to give up. It was because of her email that gave me the courage to stand up on my feet and to speak out. She quoted "No matter what you want to do, no matter how crazy or impossible it seems,if you want it with your heart, mind and soul it will be yours." With this, I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I now know

2008-11-12T14:03:00.004+08:00

I finally got it all figured out.

For the past 2 years, I have been leading my life blindly, doing things that I like to do without thinking of any consequences and without thinking of the future. I had plans before and I knew what I wanted to do with my life. However, that plan was crushed 2 years ago and I got lost for a while. I was disappointed, crushed, angry and upset altogether as I felt betrayed and because of that I decided to just live life as it is....whats the point of planning for the future when you know that things may not happen the way you want it to be or that someone will just come and crash down your painted future.

And so with that, I led 2 years of meaningless life, doing things I deem that will make me happy without any hesitations. Many times I asked myself, if this is how I am going to lead the rest of my life with. Seeing all my friends progressing from one stage to another, I being to wonder if I should waste my time for something unworth pursuing for. As much as I am happy for all my friends for leading a much better life than I am, I asked myself many times, what is it that I want in my life and how do I intend to continue on with my life. I started a journey to search for my heart and soul and it has been a whirwind journey, full of obstacles and roadblocks.

I explained to my friends once about my dreams and were criticised for being unrealistic and impractical. I asked myself after that, if I was just being really crazy again when a thought struck me. It's my dreams and its something that I really want to do. It may seem impossible and impractical at the moment, but as long as I put my heart and soul into it, my dreams will come true. Its a journey that I am willing to take no matter what obstacles come because what makes me fall, will make me stronger.

So, I now know what I want to do in my life.

Weddings Dreams

2008-11-06T10:39:00.005+08:00

Last Saturday, I attended one of my best friend's, Baby C's wedding. She had a joined wedding dinner together with her husband in one of the best 5 stars hotel in town, Nikko Hotel, with over 60 tables in the beautifully and excuisitely decorated grand ballroom in the hotel. She even had a "Retro" theme for her wedding dinner and almost every guest she invited had tried their best to come in their best "That 70's" outfits. The bride herself had changed into 3 different types of outfits the whole night and one was it was a long red cheongsam with black lace which was specially designed just to suit her body. When she came out with the cheongsam, the whole spotlight was on her....she look so elegant and beautiful like those 1950's actress in the Hong Kong movies. Just for her wedding, she and her husband had spent so much time, energy and money on it, just so that they have a special day to remember. She even had creme colour cloth canopies with crystal chandeliers hanging on each of the canopies in her house and had 4-5 pre-wedding photoshoots. Wow indeed!!!

Me & the beautiful bride in her to-die-for long red cheongsam.

After all the ohhs and ahhs on Baby C's wedding, I went back to my boring office work and started day dreaming on how my wedding will be (if I ever have one). I used to dream of having big idealistic wedding, just like Baby C's as it is now a common norm amongst the KL people to have big elegant weddings in hotels. I used to think I want to hold my wedding in a huge 5 stars hotel with at least 60-80 tables just for my family's side, as I have a huge family and my dad is a businessman with a lot of business associates and friends. I would also want to have my wedding dress designed by Vera Wang, the ultimate wedding dress guru and have my pre-wedding photoshoots in the beautiful New Zealand.

However, after experiencing helping some of my friends in their wedding preparations (and some maturity thinking started to kick into my brain), I finally understood the difficulty and time-consuming big weddings can be. Although having big weddings can be fun, I am beginning to see the light in a small but simple wedding. A 5-8 tables wedding by the beach with some of my best and closest friends would be the best to celebrate the beginnings of my marriage life with the love of my life. The most important thing about weddings is not about how beautiful I can be and how big the weddings should be, or who's wedding dress I will be wearing but it should be who I will be spending the happiest day in my life with and having a blast of my time with that special someone. I guess by the time, I really do get married, my wedding dreams would have changed again.

How would you like you weddings to be? If you already had one, was it something that you really dream off, or was it totally different from how you would have wanted it to be? Do write an email to me at beverleynah@gmail.com and share with me your wedding dreams.

By the way, 1 down, 3 more weddings to go.........Will keep you posted with the best weddings that I have attended once I finished all the other 3 weddings.

What beauty means

2008-10-20T14:25:00.004+08:00

I received an email from a friend's friend telling me that she's doing a survey and asked me what I define beauty as and if I have ever used my beauty to gain pleasure.....she ended the email with a little clause stating that if I don't reply her email means I don't think I am beautiful. I paused for a while when I read the last clause. HUH??? That's quite mean to say rite, although I know she was just joking......

So now, I am in a dilemma, should I write back to her and tell her how beautiful I am and all, or should I just leave it and let her assume that I think I am UGLY. Oooh the pressure begins......

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.....My friend, CK's favourite phrase "One man's meat is another man's poison." For me, everything has its 2 cents worth of beauty. There are people who are so drop dead gorgeous that makes me drool with jealousy. Those dreamy and sexy eyes, sharp nose, pouty Angelina Jolie lips....so full makes you want to grab it and have a taste of it (not literally). I have none of what I just mentioned. Then, there's those people with good full figure body, or those really tone six-packed to-die-for body....again, I am as skinny as a stick, and flat as a pancake....Then again, there are people that are beautiful in their heart, so beautiful it makes you wanna cry. What makes them beautiful? Its their heart, their kind and caring attitude towards everything, their sensitivity towards the smallest things and how they are always there for you when you needed them, and the appreciation they have for you .....thats what I call eternal beauty, cos if you think of it, physical beauty doesn't last (unless you are super lucky to have the anti-aging or miracle cream that makes you look young).

I was lucky enough to grow up surrounded by beautiful looking people (especially my girl friends), but at the same time was teased mercifully by others on the physical difference between the beautiful girls and me. As a result of this, my confidence level suffered a tremendous blow but knowing that I cannot change how I look (I do not believe in cosmetic surgery), I worked on my inner self. My best friend, Tjin once told me, "It is who you are that makes you gorgeous and beautiful." However, it is not an easy task to achieve. Everywhere I go, I am constantly reminded of how beautiful people (mind you, this is very subjective) goes a long way. It can be very frustrating at times, because no matter how hard I have worked and how much effort I put in, I will never be able to compete with that ultra gorgeous girl who probably would have used her beauty and her charms (maybe flash a bit of her you know what) to get her way. I tried once, I flash my most charming and innocent smile at the policeman who stopped me because I was caught talking on my handphone while driving. It did not work. He still summon me and then, after the summon, he asked me out for a drink. I stared at him, in fact I glared at him with a 'fuck off' eyes, wind up my car window and drove off, utterly digusted.

What does beauty means to you??? Do you fall for someone who's physically beautiful or does inner beauty matters and what make a certain someone beautiful??? Do tell your tales and email me at beverleynah@gmail.com. I will share but I will not judge.

Butterflies

2008-10-15T17:16:00.002+08:00

Question: Have you ever experienced seeing some total stranger of the opposite sex and having that butterflies in your stomach, and thinking that you really want to know that person?

A couple of days ago, I was having a 'yum cha' session with CK, Pinhead and Lumie and we were having a discussion about this. Both Lumie and Pinhead believes that when a girl gives them butterflies in their stomach (Lumie calls it the 'click' like a snap on your fingers) they would absolutely wants to get to know the girl. That girl, the guys say, can be hot or not but as long as it captures their attention and gives them that fluttering butterflies, they would really want to know the girl. CK denies that these things actually exist as he argues,
"But what if after knowing the chick and she turns out to be a bitch?"
"It doesn't matter, as long as I know who this chick is that can cause my stomach to churn so abruptly," Pinhead declared.
"But what does it feel to have butterflies in the stomach or that so call 'click' that you say?" CK argued again. "I mean if I see a chick thats hot, I would be like 'woa hot chick' and thats about it. I won't want to know that chick 'cos I won't know if the chick is nice or not."
"Thats 'cos you are practical, CK. You won't do things like that," I pointed out to CK.
"It's very difficult to explain. When I see a girl that gives me butterflies in my stomach, I just can't take my eyes off her, my knees will be all wobbly and my stomach will be like a tornado in it and something inside my brain will just tell me to go and know that girl," Lumie said.

I look at the 3 of them thinking when was the last time I had that kind of feeling or if I ever felt that way before for a guy when I suddenly remember about H...

I met H in my friend's, Norman's birthday party during university days. H is tall (about 5ft 10), had quite a well-built body, and wore glasses. He was not particularly good-looking, but there was something about him that I could not keep my eyes off him. I kept sneaking glances at him whenever I could and would blush when our eyes met. I did not go up to talk to him that night and neither did he came to talk to me. However, a few weeks later, I saw H again, this time in Jess's party. When I saw him again, I held on my breathe, not wanting to believe that I am seeing the same guy that gives me the butterflies in my stomach. I whispered to Jess and pointed to her the guy that I was telling her about in Norman's party. Excitedly, she dragged me along and introduced me to H. My heart was pounding so loudly when we shook hands and I was so afraid that he would hear it. I couldn't bring myself to look at him in his eyes, as I was so nervous. I briefly shook my hands with him, told him my name and I bolted off. I seriously just walked away and went off to my other group of friends, my heart still pounding, my face flushed red and hand palms sweating profusely. I did not talk to him the whole night after that and he did not come and talk to me either. However, when I was in my friend's car, going back to my apartment, I saw him walking to his car. He saw me, smiled at me and I blushed again, but this time I managed to give him a smile. I never saw him after that.

I know you would probably be thinking, Bev...you so silly, missed out a chance like that. I know, I know, I was really shy back then and I had some confidence problem, especially when it comes to knowing cute or good-looking guys. Its been quite a long while, since I last have this kind of feelings for a guy. However, the next time I ever have this butterfly feelings again, I assure you that I will not chicken out, but instead I will go up and talk to the guy and get his number.

If you have had this butterflies experience before, pls do drop me an email and share it with me. I would love to know what your verdict was. I am pretty sure its much better than mine, but do share....

When reality hits

2008-10-04T10:23:00.004+08:00

Question: How many of you believes in Cinderella's or Snow White's quote of "and we live happily ever after?"

I held on to this belief as long as I can as I do believe that you can live happily ever after with your other half as long as both of you work hard in maintaining the relationships till death do us part. However, this is an ironic world. Things don't always work out the way we wanted it to be and we have to be prepared for the worst. As long as you know that you have tried your best, I think thats what counts the most.

Yesterday night, I had a mamak session with my childhood friend, Dickhead Drew. Dickhead Drew and I came from a similar family background, in that we both came from a broken family. His parents divorced when he was in his teens and right now he is living with a friend as he doesn't see eye to eye with his mum. My parents are not divorced but has been seperated for ages and my dad has another family that he lives with. I live with my mum but I work for my dad so I still get to see both my parents a lot. At an early stage of our life, we both have been thrown into the reality of life without much warnings and fend for ourselves against the troubles that we faced as kids from the broken family. We often bitch about the issues that we faced with our families and gave each other moral and occasionally the physical support. The difference between the both of us are that, I take an optimistic stance in that I still believe in "Happily Ever After" whereas Dickhead Drew on the other hand is rather practical if not cynical about it. He believes that what we went through with our family issues as a kid, we will faced more of it in the next 10 years of our lifes when we hear the issues and problems that our friends (if not ourselves) will be facing in the future. "Ouch!" Truth hurts but it is in fact reality. In the next 10 years of our life (could be sooner) when most of us are already married and with kids, we will start to hear about the problems that our friends and ourselves faced with our other halves. If you can work things out together with your other halves, then the relationships will work but if it fails, then there's the nasty divorce and the battle of the children's custody (in which we clearly see in Britney Spears case). With all these, I haven't even talk about the part where how we as kids from broken families suffers thanks to the makings of our parents.
Now I am not trying to scare you guys (especially those that are walking down the aisle soon) about the possiblity of all these but I am only trying to warn you guys about this. As I have mentioned before, getting married is just another phase in life whereby you vow to spend the rest of your life with your other halves and in through bible spirits, "Through fitness and wealth, till death do us part". It also means that no matter what happens, you and your other half must try and work things out together and think of the consequences before any one of you makes any hasty decisions which you may regret or which may caused significant impact on yourselves as well as others .
However, to end this rather sombre piece, let me say, believe in what Cinderella and Snow White says about "Happily Ever After" and work towards it. It will bring more happiness to your relationships.

PS: I've got 3 best friends weddings to attend in the next 3 months...so PK (pok kai) ah...

For the love of writing

2008-09-30T15:00:00.003+08:00

Ever since I started this blog, I have received a lot of positive comments and supports from many friends. With the stories that I have written so far, many have also shared their stories with me and I would like to take this opportunity to THANK everyone of you for supporting this blog.
Some friends asked me "Why do you like to write so much?"

I have always like reading and writing. I don't inspire to be like Carrie in 'Sex and the City' although being her would be pretty cool, since she gets lots free stuff.....but writing helps me to express myself, my thoughts, my feelings and my emotions. However, it was not only till last year that I have picked up writing again. Let me explain:

I cultivated the habit of reading ever since I was a small kid when mum bought me my first story book "Peter and Jane book 3A". I finish the whole Peter and Jane series (I think) when I was in kindergarten and then, mum introduced me to Enid Blyton books. My collections of these Enid Blyton books could have been huge if its not thanks to my sis, whom borrowed (lend???) it to her friends, and then its a journey of no return. Books like "The Enchanted Tree" and "The Wishing Chair" were my all time favourites as it takes me away from the reality world and introduced me to the world of wonderland, where chairs can fly and trees has a pathway to whichever land you want to be be it "Land of Candies" or some"Merry-go-round land'. Pretty cool huh??? Well, those days, when my parents were too busy to bring me for holidays or to bring me anywhere for that matter, I have to entertain myself with these adventurous story books. Then, as I grew a bit older (I mean primary school days) there was "Mallory Towers" "Five adventures" all by Enid Blyton as well. Although I tried my hands on some "Nancy Drew" and "Hardy Boys" books, I did not read much of it cos I don't think I am into any of those investigation and mystery kind of books.

In Secondary school, I was really into "Sweet Valley" books. If you are a girl, I am pretty sure you would have heard of it or even read some of it. I am proud to tell you that, at that point of time, I have read almost everything they have, from "Sweet Valley Kids" to "Sweet Valley University". I used to hog in the bookstores every week, waiting for the latest "Sweet Valley" book to come out and purchase it. Oh, all those love stories in the books, it helps to keep my then non-existence girl-boy relationships alive. The guys in school, would roll their eyes at me whenever I pick up my book to read and gag when they see me grin from ear to ear while reading those romantic bits. I guess my romanticsm comes from reading these books.
Towards the later part of my high school days, I started reading novels from John Grisham (I thought I was going to be a lawyer, thats why I read his books), Danielle Steel and my absolutely favourite Sidney Sheldon. Ooohhh and that was when I learn all about SEX......all the explicit details of sex, the movements, the stance......alright you get what I mean.
It was also then, that I started writing as well. I wrote short stories which I submitted to school magazines and I even attempted to write my own story books. However, my attempt to writing was put on hold due to 2 reasons.

1) During one school holidays, I wrote a book about a young couple falling in love. The book was written halfway when school reopens and so I brought the book to school to continue writing it. My classmate, a certain Kwai Lan Kia, stole the book from my desk and read the whole thing to the entire class while I was out doing some prefect duties. When I came back to class, I saw him holding on to my book and reading it out loud, whilst the rest of my classmates laughed and giggled along. I snatched the book at him, he pointed his fingers at me and said, "Bev, you so lame" and he rolled down on the floor, cluthing on his tummy and laughed hilariously. At that point of time, I wish the floor in my classroom would open up and eat me alive. So from that day onwards, I swore never to write any books anymore.

2) Although I stop writing books, I still enjoy writing short stories. Composition was my favourite subject in school, because I get to write whatever stories I want to. My best friend, Tjin, would always comment that my stories are always tragic ones, where somehow or rather, someone dies. I always get good comments from my teachers and friends know that I write well. With that, I have 2 good guy friends that I sit beside with, whom I had to write composition on their behalf, as they hate writing and their English is not that great (they were from Chinese schools before coming to my school). So being a friend indeed, I try to write for them as much as I can till I have no more stories or ideas to write. Basically I got fed-up of writing. My writings deteroriated and my teacher noticed the difference in my writing. She questioned me one day and I just shrugged my shoulders and said, "I dont want to write anymore". And so I stop. I even failed my 1119 English for SPM to everyone's suprise and astonishment. I just couldn't do it anymore.

So why did I start writing again?

Well eventhough I stopped writing at that time, I still read heaps. I continued to read all kinds of novels, from Biographys to Chick Lits to Fiction Novels. I have always dream of having a house with a huge room full of shelves where I can keep all my story books, but for now, it will have to be happy with being where it is....my cupboards. It is getting so full now that the books are spilling out and I have been complaining to my mum that I need bigger cupboard space. I read whatever I can get my hands from, magazines, Archie comics, newspapers you name it. Then, I was introduced to a friend's blog and I was at awed with her writings. Her English is good, her sentence structure and her grammar is near perfect and her words are so flowery. I was commenting it to another friend about her writing and I told him how I wish I could write like her. He looked at me and said,
"But I thought you write really well too."

I stared at him for a while and all those memories in high school come flooding back to me. It's true, I could write and I do like to write. So I started a personal blog first, like a diary, because I have not written for so long, I really didn't know if I am still good or let's put it this way, I was embarassed to show my works to others when there are so much better ones out there. Till one day, my other best friend Hansa encouraged me to start another blog. She said,
"Just write what you want, no one's going to judge"
So I thought....What the heck, just do it. And so ta-da.......out came 'A Touch Of Soul". I hope that everyone of you would still continue to read my blog and shoot me whatever comments you want to, it doesnt matter, I have to learn to accept it anyway.

PS: I have started writing a book again, and hopefully I manage to finish it. Till then, it shall still be a hush-hush till I actually finish it.....so good luck to me.

Oh where have all my money gone to???

2008-09-24T13:31:00.002+08:00

I am absolutely horrible when it comes to saving money. In my entire 28 years of life and 5 years of full time working, I am ashamed to say that I have only RM200 bucks in my savings account (also not to mention another few grand in Amanah Saham thanks to my mum's hard earn money). No matter how hard I tried, there will always be something that I need to do or something that I need to buy. I won't say I blow everything on clothes, believe it or not, my shopping habits is not as bad as it used to be anymore.
During Uni days, I had a good paying part-time job which allows me to blow my hard earn money on the Kiwi designer clothing which my flatmate and I were absolutely crazy about. We went shopping almost every weekend, dim sum at least 3 times a week, clubbing almost every weekends and on days when we were too lazy to cook, we went out for dinners (yea, we were lazy to cook 4 out of the 7 days). Life was pretty good back then. Yea I know some of you are probably shaking your head going "tsk" "tsk".....blowing all my parents hard earn money on all these nonsense, but in defense, some of it were my own hard earn money.
When I came back to KL to work, reality hits! My salary in Malaysia is only 50% of what I earn in NZ and my NZ job was only a part-time job. So that means, goodbye shopping, goodbye holidays, goodbye clubbing and all the good stuff in life. I had to spend within my means and although I had cut down on my shopping, I still indulge in food. After clothing, food is like my second love and I am like a pregnant woman whereby I craved for good food. I have to have my weekly Japanese food, my favourite Baskin Robbins Ice cream or anything special that I just need to have.
Besides food, its travelling. Yes you would be wondering, no money, still go travelling......thats why I am in debts with the banks loh....And so, after some 'screwing' by a bunch of caring people, I have 7 months to clear off RM6k of debts and then to learn to put aside some $$$ for emergencies. I don't shop much these days (seriously), havent gone on holiday for more than a year, and have only indulge on good food on a twice a month basis spending not more than RM80bucks each time. Pretty good huh? Hopefully the new me will continue to go on and my savings account will grow.
Some of my friends are really good in saving money and I have absolutely no idea how they do it. In their 5-6 years of working life, I have friends that has like RM100k in their savings account....like how in the world they do it rite??? They still shop, travel and spend money on good food and all and still managed to save that much money. This is simply unbelievable. So if you are one of these people, pls do give me some advise on how to save money.

Its all about perseverance

2008-09-09T15:21:00.003+08:00

I am at this stage of life where a lot of my friends are getting married one at a time. Each time I attend a wedding, I get the same recorded speech,
"So Bev, when is your turn to get married?"
Each time I hear this, my answer is always,
"Oh yah! Forgot to tell you. Its tomorrow."
And everytime I say my same recorded speech, my friends will smirked and roll their eyes. Aiyoh! Give me a break la.

Everyone knows that I am 好很嫁 dying to get married. Many asked me if I dying to get married for the sake of marriage (you know, the idea of being in a wedding gown, walking down the aisle, the diamond rings and all) but it is the idea of spending the rest of your life and forming a family with my beloved that I yearns. Being in a few different relationships in my entire 8 years of dating life (no I am not a player), I just couldnt find the right person to walk down the aisle with. Choosy you think? Maybe. I just don't see the point of spending the rest of my life with someone that I don't see an eye to eye with.

Friends has advised a million times that you don't get into relationship just so that you can get married and that it takes more than just being a girlfriend and boyfriend to know if you want to spend the rest of the life with that particular person. Its all about preserverance, determinations and hardwork - and with that I learnt.

Lesson 1:
My best friend in Uni, Sri is a highly skilled, very creative and an unconventional architect, residing in her hometown, Bangkok. When she first started working in Bangkok, she struggle tremendously in her work, because her work was considered too creative for her cultured hometown. While working for her first company, she met this guy T. T was always encouraging her and giving her support in work and soon both started to come out to do freelance. Both of them compliments one another in terms of work, as what Sri is good at, T isn't and what T is good at Sri learnt from him. And yes, as you guess it, they soon fell in love and started a relationship. Being a freelance architect is with its pros and cons - Sri still continued to struggle to be accepted as an unconventional architect in Bangkok and as much criticism she had from many people (her parents included), she stayed true to her principals because she knows that T believes in her. At the same time, having lived overseas for a good 8-10 years all by herself, she finds it difficult when she has to come back and live with her family. She was always arguing with her parents and her parents does not agree in her unconventional ways when it comes to work. Proving her parents wrong, she and T work days and night to establish their company together. These days, their company is pretty recognised in Bangkok and her parents are slowly seeing the daylight of out it....and both she and T are getting married next year.

Lesson 2:
My best friend Jane (yes, I have a lot of best friends) and her boyfriend Ian has been together since they were both 17 years old. In the beginning of the relationship, Jane struggles to keep up with Ian as Ian is very strongheaded and sometimes can be deemed unreasonable. They argued over small little things and Jane, being soft and forgiving, tends to give in to Ian all the time. Each time I see Jane cries or gets upset over their arguments, I always tell her to just break it off with him. She will always reply back, saying,
"我不捨得 - I can't just let him go like this"
And so, she continues to tolerate Ian. One day (many years down the road), I was alone in the car with Ian (he drove me home) and we started talking about some family stuff, when he said something that just struck me,
"Thank goodness for Jane, or I won't be what I am today."
I looked at him, not knowing what he meant by that.
"I was always angry at my parents for not giving me more attentions than I needed. I was always sulking and moaning about it and I flared all my anger at Jane, but she tolerated me all this while and I am really glad that she did not give up on me."

When he said that to me, it all came rushing back to me. I finally understood. Jane saw something in Ian that I did not - she saw his vulnerability and she work hard to gain his trust, a trust that no matter what happens and thru thick and thin, she will always be there for him. And with that, Ian learns to appreciate Jane for her determinations and her efforts. He proposed to her in a beach in Melbourne and they are walking down the aisle in December this year.

A couple of weeks ago, while discussing about her wedding preparations, I told her that I am glad she did not listen to me when I told her to break if off with Ian. I understand now that being together is a gift from GOD but to preserve the relationship takes a lot of effort and hardwork and it has to be efforts from both parties. Marriage is just another certificate but it certifies the 2 people to lead a longer road together, a road with more obstacles that both has to endure and to maneuver these obstacles together without either one giving up. So the next time, I am thinking of giving up without actually trying, I will have to think of this
"Perseverance is the essence to success".

A soft spot for anything lovey-dovey

2008-08-27T13:44:00.006+08:00

I am a romanticist and a big sucker for love stories especially those tragic love stories. To top it up, I am highly emotional and has a soft spot for movies or songs that has touching scripts and lyrics. Movies like "A Walk to Remember" (my tears was never-ending), "The Lake House" (Oh, how I cried) and "再說一次我愛你" (after the movie, my 'then' bf's right sleeves was all drench) are my all-time favourite movies. Everytime I watch these movies, my tears are like tap water, flowing continuously eventhough I have watched it for the umpteen times. I can sit down for hours watching Taiwanese drama series accompanied by a big box of tissue and cried till my hearts content. After each series, I will gush about how romantic and how sad the series is to Tjin and why she should watch it. Shaking her head, she said,
"Bev, you damm free ah. Got time to watch series, somemore can cry. Why torture yourself like that?"

My mum's remark is always, "Bev, my life is as sad as the series. Never see you cry for me?"

My mum has a point. However, it is the script in the movies plus their actions that really touches my heart.

I get all mooshy when I hear stories from friends what their other half has done for them, the anniversaries, the proposals and all the thoughtful little things that can really make you melt and wishing that things like this could happen to you. Let me give you some examples that could really make you go all wishy-washy.

My buddy Jas, on his first anniversary with his then girlfriend (now wife), he gave her 49 red roses and 1 white rose. He told the girlfriend, MK,
"Every year, I will minus 1 red rose and add another white rose to the bouquet of 50 roses because 我要跟你白頭到老" (meaning I wanna grow old together with you). White roses represents Jason's way of telling MK that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her and wishes to grow old together. How sweet rite? His proposal to MK was even better.

For Valentine's Day this year, my gf Angel send a bouquet of white roses to her husband's office for him. You might think, "Huh? Guy received flowers? So weird!" But it isn't weird...cos who says only girls can receive flowers. Anyway, its the suprise and the thoughts that makes it so special.

Baby C's fiancee, propose to her in Eiffel Towel, but she rejected. He tried going down on one knee on the Siene River Cruise, and she rejected again. He made one last effort, by proposing in a fine cuisine restaurant in Paris, and this time around, Baby C finally accepted it.

And the list of romantic and touching stories go on. For a sucker of love stories like me, you would think I have my own fair share of love stories to tell, well I don't. The only most romantic thing that a guy ever did for me was when I was 16 or 17. It was my birthday, and this guy drove over to my house and ask me to go for a drink with him. I went into the car and he drove over to a field nearby my house, open his car boot and took out a birthday cake with a huge bouquet of flowers. I was really touch at that time ok. And that is about it. The guys that I actually went out with are really down-to-earth, no nonsense guys that thinks being romantic is just a waste of their time. But it is their down-to-earth and easy going nature that captures my heart therefore I have to bear with their unromanticness. I guess for now, for now, I just have to rely on my love stories and movies to get in touch with my emotional sides. But if you do have a great love story, do email me and let me go all green with envy.

A simple future....

2008-08-21T16:14:00.002+08:00

I was laying on my best friend, Tjin's bed on a lazy Sunday evening talking to her about work and our career, when she suddenly shot me a question,
"Bev, what do you want in your career? Like do you want to be a manager and stay as it is or do you want to have your own business in the future?"
Taken aback by her question, I looked at her for the longest time not knowing how to answer her. It's not because I don't know what I want in my life, but I am afraid that what I was going to say is not appropriate.
"Actually, I never gave my career much thoughts because I don't deem it as very important to me." I said slowly, and choosing my words very carefully. "I just want to have a family of my own, and that is very important to me."
Tjin looked at me and nodded her head, "I understand."

If you have read my article previously on "Stereotypical thoughts...What about modernism?" you would think that what I am saying now contradicts what I wrote last week. So, let me explain.

I come from a broken family whereby family dinners, family gatherings and family outings are scarce. Even a simple sitting down together in the living room and watching tv together as a family is unheard of. Even as a child, I grew up with my grandparents because my parents were too busy with their careers that they do not have time for me and my younger sister. My younger sister was living with a grandaunt for reasons that I am uncertain of. While, all my friends had parents that were always there for them, I had to rely on my grandparents instead. Yes, I do see my parents and my sister in the weekends, but there were days when I really need to sit down and talk to my mum or my dad about things that happened in school, and all I could do was just to talk about it to my friends. School holidays was spent reading books and watching tv at home, report cards was signed by grandpa and a lot of other things like taking my sister's report cards or arranging for her extra curricular activities was all done by me. After school holidays was the worst, because my friends would have loads of stories of their family outings to tell me and when they asked me what I did during the holidays, all I could answer was,
"Urrm.....I was at home reading books. But my cousin and I caught a frog!"

Later, as I grew up I my parents split and up till today, I cannot even dream of having a proper meal with my parents and my sister. My heart aches sometimes when I see a whole crowd of family talking and laughing their hearts out in a restaurant and how I always wished that it is me talking and laughing with my family. Many friends consoled me by telling me that at least I do have a family and I do agree with them. I am in many ways better than a lot of other people out there, who doesn't have any parents to see them grow or to even have a simple hug and kiss from them.

Therefore, I told myself that I will have a family of my own and to make up for something that I don't have. To me, career and chasing for money is secondary as it is because of career and money that my parents had neglected me and my sister. To me, it is also because of career and money (and also other factors) that my parents split up. So to explain, yes, it is important for a woman to have a career, a job or at least an income, in case anything happens in the future, you will have to fend for yourself and your family. For me, a simple job with a justifiable salary is enough to keep me happy, as along as I have time to care to provide for my family, my children and my husband.

Stereotypical thoughs - What about Modernism???

2008-08-13T10:15:00.004+08:00

It's amazing that even being in the 21st century rite now and everything that you see and touch are modernised and technologized, there are plenty of people that still lives in the old-fashioned manner. My grandpa for instance still uses the old 1990 typewritter with black ribbon ink to type out memos whilst a huge Dell pentium 4 computer with a whole load of up-to-date programme installed in it, is sitting very prettily on his desk collecting dust. But thats my grandpa (who's 80 by the way) and he can be forgiven cos he grew up without having the priviledge of using some of the most high-tech product.

However, what suprises me the most is that there are some young people (young teens, people in the 20s and 30s) that lives in the old-fashioned manner. Now I m not talking about them using typewritters to type out letters, but their up-bringing and their way of thinking. Let me explain further. Even to this day, when most people are screaming for freedom and equality amongst male and female, some people (young ones) that I know still thinks that its ok for males to dominate (the world, their life or whatever that they think its ok for). The stereotypical manner of women staying at home and men to be the breadwinner of the family.

My good buddy's gf, "M" is extremely smart. She is like top students in schools and uni and if I am not mistaken, got a scholarship for her degree in accounting in Uni. Even with my 2 sessions of Mahjong with her, I could see that she is very analytical and strategizes in each game that she plays (she obviously won a lot of $$$ in both sessions that I played with her ..... all mostly my money). And I was thinking, since she is so smart, why did she confined herself to doing accountancy when she could go further? So I decided to ask her:
"Hey M! Since you so smart ah, why did you decide to study accountancy!"
"Because I like Maths a lot," she said with a slight smirk on her face.
"But you so smart, she should have taken up medicine or law or engineering," I continued.
"Don't want la. Besides I am not that smart," M said again.
"Ehhhh....being top students in schools and college does not consider you smart meh? If I can, I also want to take up medicine. At least I can try and help people, but unfortunately, I am not that smart loh!" I said.
"No la! I don't want to take up medicine. I am scared of blood," M said and I nodded my head. Fair enough because not everyone is ok with seeing lots of blood. But it was her last sentence that threw me off my seat.
"Besides, my mum always say, women do not need to study so much!" she continued nonchanlantly.

I was like ???? I shut my mouth up immediately and decided not to say anything anymore. By the way, she's only 24 years old. For a young girl like her to have this kind of thinking, that means she's bound to be want to be a housewife in the future. So I decided to explore further. After 2 weeks since our last conversation, I seized the opportunity to ask her again:
"M! Did you do ACCA or CPA for your accountancy?"
"CPA! Because its easier," she said.
"But I thought ACCA is better and more prestigious," I asked again.
"Yes it is. But I decided to go for something easier," M said.
"So do you intend to take up CFA or MBA in the future?" I probe further.
"No I have decided that I have enough of studying," she said
"But if you do CFA or MBA it can take you further into your career in the future," I continued, this time being a little annoyed because I seriously think she's being very naive.
"No I don't want to have a big career. I just want to stay at home and take care of my family," she said, smilling from ear to ear.

DING!!!! I just proven from hypothesis right. But listen to what she continues,
"My mum said, women no need to have such big career".

And so, still recovering from my shock of what she said, I ponder upon many questions. "Now what will happen to M if after 10 years down the road and she is married with 2 kids and a housewife at home, she suddenly discover that her husband is having an affair and wants to leave her." How is she going to cope with the emotional and financial breakdown? What about her kids?

As have mentioned earlier, being in the 21st century, many things are now made easier for both the men and the women. Also because of modern technology, it is now easier for women to catch up with men in terms of career and financial matters. However, I do personally believe that we as women, do need to have a balance in our life - we can have a good career and yet have a family. We just need to learn the art of juggling. But to deprived yourselves of such priviledge and to indulge in stereotypical thoughts, I find it very difficult to accept. But hey, who am I to judge?

This is after all an Asian country and as much as things have changed in the past 20-30 years, people are only slowly embracing the art of modern thoughts in the last 10 years or so. I guess for young people like "M", up-bringing plays a very important part. For them to embrace modernism means they have to face this cruel and harsh world. Maybe in the next 5 years, after meeting more people in this society and growing away from her naiveness, "M" will probably tell me something different than what she had a few days ago.

The day I lost the love of my life

2008-07-28T10:10:00.002+08:00

Question: What happens when the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with does not want to spend the rest of his life with you???

I met the love of my life 4 years ago. I was very in love with "him" and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. It was the first time that I had this kind of feelings for a guy and although as scared as I am, I was willing to sacrifice a lot of things for him. Coming from a broken family, he thought me what it is like to have a real family, family dinners, family holidays, family shopping trips, special occasions, things that I have not had for a long long time in my own family. He taught me what it is like to love someone and to be loved and that was what made me fell in love with him. I knew than that I want to have a family with him.

We talked about marriage and although he was not ready to settle down, he was willing to give it a try and he told me to give him 2 years. Because of his promised, I revolved my life around him. I started a small kindy in hope that when we have kids, I could spend more time with the kids and at the same time have a career. We moved in together after more than 1 year together and it was also his way of trying to be commited. I was definately happy moving in with him and I immediately transform myself into the role of a "wife" at home. I did everything I could to make the house feel like a home so that we he comes back from work, he could have a comfortable place to be in. However, it was the moving in together that caused him to changed. He felt suffocated that he has to see me 24 hours and to avoid seeing me, he goes out as much as he can. I compliant and made heaps of noise and we began to argue a lot on this matter. A couple of days after our 2nd year anniversary, he call it quits. He said I was giving him too much pressure on marriage and he couldnt take it anymore.

I was devastated and definately heart broken and it felt as if the whole world has fallen apart. I moved back to my mum's place and within 4 days I lost 6 kgs, from a healthy 50kgs, I went down to 44kgs. Friends that came to visit me were shocked at my appareance and were very concerned. The ultimate shocked came to me was when I heard from his own sister that there was actually another girl in the picture. A few weeks after we broke up, they got together. I was furious! I blamed myself for the breakup but the actual reason for the break up was because of another girl. I didn't know what to think or what to do. I trusted him entirely and I gave my heart to him but in the end I got this in return.

As much I as was angry with him, I knew I still had to get on with my life. I tried my best to focus my attention on the kindy. It was difficult for me as I had to readjust my whole life back again and there was no motivations for me to move on as I was lost. I lost my whole directions in life as I drew a picture of my future with "him" in it.

I once asked my best friend,
"What happens when the love of your life does not want to spend the rest of his life with you?" She replied saying,
"Well, you start looking for another who deserves your love for him".

I took that advise to heart. It has been almost 2 years since we broke up, and although I have completely let him go, I am still trying to readjust my life back to what I want it to be for myself and not for someone else. But now that I am seeing someone, many friends asked if we are getting married anytime soon. I looked at them blankly, for marriage was something that pushed "him" away from me and now I did not even dare to touch the word "marriage" with the guy I am seeing right now. I guess "Once bitten, twice shy".

Shopping

2008-07-15T12:25:00.004+08:00

Its the "Big Mega Sale" here in KL right now and everywhere you go you can see posters of the magic word "Sale" hanging in every shopping malls and even every boutiques that you go to. Even with the recent oil price increase and inflations happening here in KL, you could still see the malls jam packed with people, especially during the weekends. I am now at a stage whereby I don't really like to shop in the common shopping malls because they are all over priced and have the same brands of clothing and fashion stores in most of the malls.

Lately, for the past 3-4 years, there has been a surge of boutiques sprouting, not in the mall but in some high traffic areas in KL, like in Bangsar, Kota Damansara, Hartamas and also in Subang. These boutiques are mainly located on the 2nd floor of the shoplots where by there are heaps of cafes, bars, restaurants and other types of shops around it. These boutiques are run and own independently by boutiques owner and their boutiques are very creatively decorated with a touch of comfortability. Some boutiques have large couch with some magazines on the coffee table and some even have a large flat screen tv with all the Astro channels on it. These boutiques are specially designed with the idea that while we shop, our companions, be it our boyfriends/girlfriends, friends or family members can sit and read a magazine or surf the tv and don't get bored waiting.

Now besides all these perks shopping in boutiques, the fashion styles and clothing in these stores are really up-to-date, very fashionable and the clothings are of good qualities. These boutique owners source their clothes mostly in overseas countries like in Thailand, Indonesia, Hong Kong, Taiwan and China. I remembered going to Chatukchak market in Bangkok some 3 years ago, and shopping very excitedly at the designer street area, thinking if only I could get these clothes in KL. Now, I could, in all these boutiques. The clothings are pretty unique and quite quirky for my liking and it caters for all sort of occasions, be it work, casual and even evening wear. However, the best part is that most of the clothings in these boutiques are very reasonably priced unlike those big clothing brands in the shopping malls. We can all buy the latest trend and be fashionable without burning a hole in our pocket.

However, with some perks come some downfalls. One of it is that some of these boutiques source their items from the same place. Therefore, sometimes when you buy an item from one boutique, you will probably find it in another boutiques, with similar prices. The other downfall is the climbing up and down. Most of these boutiques are located on the second floor and after climbing up and down the flight of stairs to 4 boutiques, I am already so pooped I just wanna sit down and relax my tiring feet, thinking how many more boutiques I can last.

Below are some recommendations on my favourite boutiques:

1) Mooie in Bangsar http://mooieboutique.blogspot.com/

Mooie is probably the funkiest boutique I have seen so far in KL. If you like clothings in

Topshop, you will probably like Mooie. Besides, this is also the only store in Bangsar that sells

guys clothing. Check out their website, I really like the way they advertise their items. Very

tastefully designed.

2) Baci (12-A, 1st floor, Jalan Telawi 3, Bangsar Baru, 59100 Kuala Lumpur. Tel: +603 2283

4263)

One of the earliest boutiques to open in Bangsar. Their styles of clothes are mostly

sophisticated with a slight hint of funkiness and it has plenty of rooms for creativity with just

one piece of clothing. Oh, and this boutique has a really comfortable day bed with a huge

bookshelves of books and magazines. After shopping so much, I could just sit on the day bed

and not move.

3) Solemate http://www.solematebangsar.blogspot.com/

Solemate has the best looking shoes around. These shoes are specially designed and made

locally by designer Valerie Fan. The shoes' qualities are good and their prices, although a little

on the high side, is worth purchasing for as the shoes last a longer time that that RM20 shoe

you buy from you know where.

4) Tea & Sympathy http://www.teasympathy.net/

This is a new store in Bangsar and is already making a wave to the local people there. Its

style is rather retro but still funky. You could be Audrey Hepburn in the making but add a

little touch of your own style and you can still look as glam as Gwen Stefani. Definatelly worth

climbing that 2 flights of stairs to teh store.

5) Bling Boutique (74A, 1st Floor,Jalan SS15/4D,47500 Subang Jaya,Selangor)

Bling Boutique is located in Subang Jaya where all the colleges are. They cater mostly for the

collegue kids but has pretty cool working clothes as well. The best part of the store is its large

32 inch flat screen tv with all Astro channel and a large red Ikea sofa that just screams for

"Comfort". Plus the onwers are very cool people who will mingle and hangs around with you

like a friend.

There are many more boutiques especially in Kota Damansara which I have yet to check out. However, if you do have your favourite stores or do know any stores that are funky, pls drop me and email and I will be sure to drop by to check out these store. Till then, happy shopping and don't burn too much hole in that pocket of yours. Remember about inflations.

Best Friends

2008-07-10T11:44:00.008+08:00

I am dying to watch "Sex and the City" the movie. It has been showing in most countries for the past 3 weeks and it has yet to arrive in the cinemas here in KL. Heck, you can even buy the pirated DVD in pasar malam now and I am resisting myself from doing it cos I really wanna watch it on cinema. The problem is with who???

For some clueless people who does not know what "Sex and the City" is, let me explain. "Sex and the City" originally is a tv series that revolves around the life of 4 mid-thirties women, namely, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte. So why is the life of 4 women so interesting that it had won so many Emmy and Golden Globe awards for the past years? Well besides all their quirky sex experience, their funky lifestyle and all that to-die-for clothing and shoes, it is their friendships with one another that actually captures our real life experience.

Everyone has best friends and these best friends can be of the same sex or the opposite sex. At different stages of life you will have different best friends. I grew up with a bunch of crazy people but are my best of friends even up till today. I have 2 girlfriends that are like the worms in my tummy. Like Carrie in "Sex and the City", my 2 girlfriends and I do almost everything together, from our daily gossips to our once in a blue moon sleepovers. We spent so much time together giggling and gossiping in school, over the phone and whenever we have the opportunity to. Our sleepovers are the best. It was always with a box of Baci chocolates, while we try to put make up on each other and do up each other's hair and taking silly photos of it after that, all while "tsk" "tsk" we continue our gossiping.

My best friends - me, Tjin and Jeannie (Mel)

However, come to University, we went our seperate ways and although we continue to keep in touch with one another, we began to form friendships with other people in the country that we were at. I also have another bunch of best friends when I was in University in Auckland, New Zealand, but this time around, our degree of friendships are different than my childhood friendships. It is more in an intense manner, with more drama and more silliness combine with large doses of laughters and tears. I remember rushing home from the library every Wednesday nite just so that I could sit down and watch "Sex and the City with Hansa and Shann and going "oohs", "ahhs" and "hahahaha" while Wilfred just sits there and shakes his head. It was definately the best 4 years of my life.

My best friends in Uni - Wilfred, me, Hansa and Shann.

These days, eventhough I am back here in KL with most of them back here as well, I hardly get to do see Tjin and Mel due to work and our different priority in life. I dearly missed all over sleepovers and our make-overs. I was talking to Hansa on the phone (she is Thai and is now back in Bangkok) a couple of weeks ago and was complaining to her that I missed doing all the girly stuff with all my girlfriends, as of now, I hung out with more guys than girls.

My buddies on a sailing trip in Port Klang - most of the guys are my childhood friends and some are real good buddies from college, the girls are basically the guy's gf or wife

Unlike "Carrie", I find it really difficult to maintain my friendship with my girlfriends here in KL because each and everyone of us has different priorities in life now. However, I do envy "Carrie" and her weekly lunch, brunch or dinner with her girlfriends as no matter how busy they are, they will make that effort to meet up at least once a week.

Now the question is, who do I watch "Sex and the City" with once it is out in the cinemas here in KL? Well, I will have to pre-book Tjin and Mel in advance to watch it together, or else, I guess, I just have to settle watching it with my ever-available boyfriend.

Second time around

2008-07-02T17:32:00.002+08:00

Do you believe in second time love?

A couple of days ago, my friend was telling me that he is now going out with this girl whom he once dated 8 years ago. They went out for a year and then they broke up because according to him, "I cannot tahan her temper".
And so I asked, "What about now?"
"Oh! She is so much better now, "he exclaimed, smilling from ear to ear. I could tell that he was very pleased with this newfound character of his girlfriend.

And so my question. Can you actually go out with someone that you once broke up with? I for one do not think that I could cos when I broke up with my ex-bfs, it would have been carefully thought off with good reasons and with no turning back. However, I do believe that there are circumstances that you could. After all, people change and if you have broken up with your ex-bf or gf because of certain characteristics, only to realise that the ex-bf or gf is a totally different person now, so the answer is why not? So long as both of you knows how to appreciate each other better now.

I have a really good example. My very good buddy Jas is now happily married to this girl whom he went out for about 8 months or so, broke it up because she was super sticky to him and then got back together with her after 1 year becos he learned to appreciate all the other good qualities of her.

I also have heard of couples that broke up more times than we change our underwear. Now, these kind of couples are just not serious or does not know what they want of each other and of their relationship. Excuses like "He rather watch football with his bunch of guy friends than spend time with me painting my nails" or "She just does not understand that I need some time off with my guys" are just plain bullshit. You dont break up because of these excuses. Relationships are all about compromising and getting back together again after one party apologised and then breaking up again with other lame excuses are just plain silly. This kind of relationship game will never ever end.

Personally, I believe that it all boils down to how much you have changed and how you see the world now and before. You may not have appreciate your ex-bf or gf before, but if you sit down and really think about it, you will realised that he/she was not that bad after all....if not better than what you think before.

So, do share with me and let me know if you have been thru the same experience as my friends have or what you think of a second time love.